middaymoon's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

My roommate has been sleeping on the couch for about an hour, now. I feel like he should get up before he ruins his sleep cycle.

I used to consider myself sort of an amateur writer. I've been a dabbler all my life. But now I'm so out of practice that my style is all floppy. Everything I say sort of just...spews out. Which is fine, for nutang, but I sort of lament the loss of whatever potential there might have been to move people with words. I suppose I'll have to stick to ideas, and laughter. Apparently I'm good at laughter.

About the Palestinian guy I mentioned earlier: last night we were at Steak n Shake (after a successful pledge ceremony!) and I...I don't remember properly...he asked the group something and I gave some answer, as a I tend to do. Depending on my frame of mind and the situation, my interactions can be snappy and witty or surprisingly ponderous. I don't think I usually show an image of thoughtfulness or insight, so when I do it catches people off-guard. This was one of those moments, because he asked me if I was some sort of guru.

"Er...what?"

"Yeah, are you some sort of spiritual guru or something?"

Gosh. I've never been compared to a guru. I wish I remember what I said to provoke that because I'm fairly sure it had nothing to do with spirituality. And also I wish I could recall my answer (probably something along the lines of "no").

Roommate won't get up.

Homegirl texted me today. I'd actually deleted her number to avoid this annoying habit I have. I was trying to cut down on how often I texted her, since it seemed to bother her (because I pulled a classic stupid-boy move, to my eternal shame) and that sort of bothered me. The problem was that, in my head, I'd exaggerate how long it had been since I last contacted her, so I ended up pestering her a lot more than I meant to. I figured I'd lose her number and solve the problem. After all, if I need to talk to her I can still use facebook, which doesn't present the intimacy and ease-of-access issues that texting has. So I was befuddled to get such a friendly message from a number I didn't recognize this morning, encouraging me to kick butt in school this semester and have a great time doing it.

Thankfully, I stifled the urge to immediate respond with "Who is this?" I don't feel like explaining that I deleted her number practically out of necessity. Instead, I asked Ben about it, and he recognized the area code, and from there I realized the state of things (good thing I only know one other person with that area code!).

So that's cool. On one hand, I had totally forgotten that I'm supposed to be letting her alone, meaning I'm not relying on her as much for my emotional self-value. And on the other, she actually contacted me, which is a rarity, indeed! I feel pretty good about that, though now I'm wondering if I should un-delete her number or go back to my comfy ignorance. Does this mean we're cool? Somehow I don't think so, which is something of a shame but not unbearable.

I think I'll leave it for now, and see what she does. If she was like some of the girls I know then we could go on to be best pals, but it seems like she isn't and I don't particularly blame her.

Enough of that.

By the way, "Homegirl" is the affectionate nickname we use in our apartment to refer to a girl that tends to elicit drama in our lives. For example, one particular roommate has a tendency to get is emotional fulfillment from being popular with and getting attention from girls (as opposed to from God). So when he says Homegirl I know he's referring to the latest female that he's a bit hung up on. It's convenient and also sort of a joke at his expense. We usually advise him to marry the lucky lady as soon as possible.

As an eternal troll to Katie, I usually refer to her as "Ex-Homegirl," because I know she'd hate it.

Speaking of which, I was going to write about some stuff in my life but I just spent few minutes writing it out to Katie so I think I'll just be lazy and copy/paste it.

Me: I had something of an epiphany on Friday and I'm hoping it will light a fire under my bottom.

Her: oh?

Me: Yeah
I was nominated for a leadership position in the campus ministry
and I turned it down
Because right now I don't think that I'm in a position where I can say that I could do my best in school, work, fraternity, ministering, AND leadership
I think that because I've had a lot of great opportunities the last few years and I have not made good use of them.
I've been following Christ for a year and a half, but I don't think I've matured nearly as much as I would have if I'd been making better use of my time and energy.
The same goes for my grades and work
So...I guess the moral of the story is I'm coming at it from a new angle.
Instead of just trying to make it through and hope I come out better afterwards, I want to go after building better character and all that stuff.
So that means working hard and depending on God instead of just trying to slide by
It'll be an interesting week.

Her: isn't it always