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Right now I wish...
the world was flat
Quotes of the day
Is that a kind of occupational hazard of soul mates ? One's not much without the other ?
- what dreams may come

Can miles truly separate you from friends.... If you want to be with someone you love, aren't you already there? ~Richard Bach

"I'll love you till the ocean is folded and hung up to dry" -W.H Auden

I'll wait so longingly for you to need me... want me... notice me...

"If looks be the reflections of the mind, the thoughts that in that head are not what they used to be- those thoughts which I knew so well." - De Maupassant in "A Family"

Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.

If you don't laugh at yourself, life is going to seem a lot longer than you want it to.
-garden state
For you-- John Denver
Just to look in your eyes again
Just to lay in your arms
Just to be the first one always there for you
Just to live in your laughter
Just to sing in your heart
Just to be everyone of your dreams come true

Just to sit by your window
Just to touch in the night
Just to offer a prayer each day for you
Just to long for your kisses
Just to dream of your sighs
Just to know that Id give my life for you
For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just to wake up each morning
Just to you by my side
Just to know that you're never really far away
Just a reason for living
Just to say I adore
Just to know that you’re here in my heart to stay

For you for the rest of my life
For you all the best of my life
For you alone, only for you

Just the words of a love song
Just the beat of my heart
Just the pledge of my life, my love, for you

Hobbies peer educating, road trips, dancing at Ghost Riders, music, listening), going on random excursions.

College Slippery Rock,

I Like french vanilla cappaccino, pineapple, buffalo chicken, walking in the rain, looking at the stars, watching the sun set, going for long hikes, being around kids, chocolate, mexican food, random road trips, card night

I don't Like heights, the dropping feeling on amusement park rides, people who think that they are better than everyone, humidity, olives, people who don't use turn signals

awesome cd in mind
Believe- gavin degraw
more than anyone- gavin degraw
meaning- gavin degraw
folow through- gavin degraw
I'll be- Edwin McCain
The reason- Hoobastank
Iris- Googoodolls
It only hurts when I'm breathing- Shania Twain
Running away- Hoobastank
100 years- five for fighting
blurry- puddle of mud
wonderwall- oasis
champaign supernova- oasis
someday- nickleback
dremaing of u -selena
1st cut is the deepest- sheryl crow
For you to notice- dashboard
My immortal- evanescence
Wonderful Tonight- Eric Clapton
I'll follow the sun- Beatles
Walk Alone- Green Day
Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
can't stop - red hot chili peppers
saliva- rest in pieces
crash and burn- savage garden
every breath u take- the police
White Flag- Dido
One thing- Finger 11
Drift away- uncle kracker
When a man loves a woman
drops of jupiter- train
let it be- beatles
country cd in mind
the dance- garth brooks
she's in love with the boy- garth brooks
If i'm not in love- faith hill
breath- faith hill
there you'll be- faith hill
cry- faith hill
I melt- rascal flats
i'm movin on- rascal flats
these days- rascal flats
love you outloud- rascal flats
Let's be us again- lonestar
amazed- lonestar
I need you- LeAnne Rimes
she's my kind of rain- tim mcgraw
i like, i love it- tim mcgraw
favorite oldies cd
when a man loves a woman
wonderful tonight
unchained melodies
say a lil prayer
aint no mnt high enough
faithfully- journey
open arms- journey
I am happy because
new friends
What I am greatful for
the best parents in the world! ftball games, going for walks, going out to dinner, card night, my FRIENDS, awesome conversations, the ability to experience life to the fullest.
to do...
lose 20
sell back book
make mom's cd
clean room/bthroom
gym gym gym
visit eric, becca, kate, katie, kara
Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I'll be there...always

...I am trying to lose weight, but it keeps on finding me. -author unknown
like the energizer bunny
Saturday. 6.4.05 6:51 pm
*still coughing* Just got back from The What If with Tim, to visit Courtney who is working, and to get ice cream cuz the stuff we bought last night is already gone. Didn't think I could make it home cuz a stupid coughing fit came on 322W. I feel better right now, I think it is a combo of finally eating something and taking some more meds.

My mom heard of this site from ppl on her Dressage bulliten Board who have bought stuff from this website.. it's a jewelry company that is trying to get their name out so they are giving away free jewelry, u just have to pay $6 for shipping and handling... www.silverjewelryclub.com. Every 15 minutes or until that variation run out, they change the object being given away. I shall keep my eyes open, all their stuff looks nice.I re measured my fingers today for a ring size.. and I think now I am down to a 5.... kinda strange. I figure if I see a ring I want, I can either get a 5 or a 6 and if it doesn't end up fitting I can just wear it on a chain. I also found this site that describes what each stone means... amethyst for example: http://www.gemstonegifts.com/stones/amethyst.htm. Maybe it's just one person's interpretation cuz it depends on how much of all that u believe in, but it's still kinda interesting to have a purpose behind why u wear ur jewelry, if u wear any.

Hopefully back to work and on my feet tomorrow... gotta go to the gym majorly, study for my first stat test and call my friend from MA.

"I thought, maybe it's the little things all strung together that make us happy..." -sisterhood of the traveling pants
On that note, little things and big things that have kept me happy lately: hugs, back rubs, bowling, Ribbit (who I plan to sleep with from now on when ur not here) and my flower, laying in bed watching The Lion King, getting me ginger ale, holding hands, massages, ice cream (cuz it's our feather), friends, analytical and thought reflecting talks, re capping, driving, text messages, kettle corn, baking cookies n making tuna salad, waking up next to u, shopping, hearing my brother laugh, being productive...

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Wednesday. 6.1.05 9:47 pm
I am now one who cries in movies... damnit! Tonight after Applebee's with Chris, David W, Court, Tom, Mike S, Tim and myself mmm buffalo chicken, I picked up Bahar and we went to see The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, quite the cute, cliche, life learning, and obviously tear jerking however the tears weren't relaly necessary so I am not so sure as to whyyy I was crying so much. So the pants weren't magical, but they were a WITNESS to their LIVES! (omg, totally related to what's that movie.... shall we dance!) and it gave them the love that the ppl (their best friends) couldn't physically show at the time since they were all over the world, gave them the hope.. and shared the experiences with each other that they had... also an interesting usage of sex, kinda like in Lovely Bones novel, where one girl found it to be a growing up point that completed and opened her up ( no pun intended) and then another girl who was dealing with her mother's suicide trying to run away from all the pain by liberating herself thru sexualness (is that a word?) but finding that 'something that is supposed to be so beautiful can leave me feeling so empty' ooo that was deeep! Anywho, the movie was over all nice, delt with SOO many issues cuz u have four lives going on, like divorce, family feuds in teh way of love, suicide, single fathers, FAMILY was a huge one and that 'that is all u have, and when u lose it, that is when u have lost everything'. sex, rebelling, leukemia, LIVING and LIFE, 'I look at the stars and think, there HAS TO be something else out there.. I'm not afraid of death, just of running out of time, before I know my purpose' and forcing urself into a situation that u don't feel comfortable in but makes u grow. *whew* Now home, coughing, def can't talk very well, but feeeeeeeling fine. I could actually for for a run if I didn't think my parents would flip on me. hehe. Can't wait for tomorrow.

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yes... look at the time!
Thursday. 5.26.05 7:23 am
ugh... cramps... not even cramps.. just horrible sick feeling in the abdominal region and numb kinda thing going on in the legs that I call cramps cuz I really don't have bad ones, but this is uncomfortable enough to probably compare to the discomfort ppl with cramps would encounter.

Anywho... the crying fest is over, thank goodness. Thank goodness also for my keith ;). I went bowling last night and bowled a personal best of 80.. first with my right hand and then with my left hand as well! Li and I broke three finger nails each. It amazes me how things work out... for example, keith isn't coming THIS weekend like planned, but NEXT thursday hopefully, which means we can all go bowling after I get out of stat class! Looking foward to it. Class is going well so far.. hopefully returning my textbook today, lord knows I need the money.

Whoever thought up of how to dispense of the pill? As discussed with some other chicas, they are a pain in the butt to get out of the package, then once u do, u lose the damn thing cuz it's so tiny and goes shooting out, or it crushed up in ur hand and u have to figure out how to get it into ur mouth. sheesh. Oh, and I guess there is a male version of orthotricyclin coming out in a few years... to do something to ur sperm so it can't get to the egg?... now MY question is, what guys are actually gonna take responsibility and TAKE the pill so that their gf or whoever they bang isn't gonna get pregnant? Veryyyyyyyyyy few, that's who. And of those that do, how many are gonna remember to take it all the time? ... interesting.

I have been having the oddest dreams lately... all involving random ppl from my past... in the weirdest of settings... hmph.

What is your feather?

shit.. I had a quote I wanted to put in here, but I plain forgot it... ooops.

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tears... in heaven?
Monday. 5.23.05 11:24 pm
Be it extremely emotional, controversial, messed up, or whatever, this entry has been password protected.

If you know it, enter it; or, ask me for it.

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bad feeling... again.
Wednesday. 5.18.05 1:51 am
I hate bad feelings..... like tonight... I don't know if it was the guilt I felt for once again being out with friends instead of spending time with keith when we had so much catching up to do... yet I wasn't there again for him... or the caffine and being freezing cold... or the effects of missing my other half... or if I am afraid of something bad happening on tomorrow's trip to KOP... but I didn't want to let go tonight-- of the phone. I wanted to say I love you a billion times and make sure u knew I meant it and always will. Maybe it is the pills making me feel like crying all the time at the least sappy thing, or maybe it was the reassurance I got tonight from someone who looked me in the eye n told me that he is so happy for us, and that no one has ever said that before, maybe it was the whole talk about weddings everywhere-- on tv, in the car, over coffee, in my head-- I think I am just more emotional these days, more prone to cry, more prone to missing, more prone to loving... who the hell knows. All I know is I hope that this feeling goes away by 9:30am this morning. I'm flushed... I guess JoJo's garlic knots do that to me... asian glow indeed, just the wrong kind. Night.

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life moves on...
Wednesday. 5.11.05 8:54 pm
... I wanna go home... wherever that is... I think it's inside somewhere... where I can be me... all of it... without ppl trying to understand what they cannot... without expectations and funny glances. It's funny how I feel more like myself with a group of ppl in a different state, or a group of ppl I met 9 months ago. I guess that's my fault. I guess it's me not wanting to explain... not wanting to be reminded of... not being able to move on quite yet, and feeling the need to have those who knew what happened around me to help me thru it in an indirect way. It's interesting how we cling to those who we suffer with, experience new things with, share them with, and even though I am not physically there, I think I have shared more of my life from the past 9 months with Desi, Sank and Mike and certainly Keith and the SRU gang than I had with anyone from Hershey. Again... <----- my fault. I think this is what they would call moving on in life, wanting to rid urself of all that was because u like all that is better... even if u are really only losing one part, u have to in a sense lose it all. I enjoyed my independence and proving to myself I could do it and handle everything life threw me on my own.. and now that I am home, I have ppl hovering over me making sure I am not screwing up one tiny thing and it is annoying as all get out cuz I CAN do it. Ok I'm off now..

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