I went to the doctor's yesterday. She ordered, like, 10 different blood tests because she wants to rule out the possibility of me having POS. (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). That sounds like so much fun! Not. And this morning, I got to visit the dentist. It wasn't so bad, and it's over with now. I don't got to worry about going to the dentist again until the end of March!
We did a lot of running around yesterday after my doctors appointment; my mom had an eye doctor appointment in Orlando, and then we stopped at Wal Mart. All of the driving around gave me plenty of time to read my textbook for class, so I'm pretty much all caught up there. While we were at Wal Mart, I picked up Justin Timberlake's new album, Futuresex/Lovesounds. It's not a bad album. But the track entitled 'What Goes Around'--I think it's about Britney...listen to it and decide for yourself. (Go to Napster or something legal, I won't be putting it on here illegally.) Or you can just view the lyrics here..
In other news, I talked to my fiance again last night. He asked if I wanted to go visit him in Texas next weekend before he leaves for Iraq. Hello! Of course, I want to. Whether or not I'd be able to is what I don't know. I'm going to talk to my mom about it soon, but I'm a little scared. Isn't always scary to ask your parents if you can do something very grown-up, like fly halfway across the country by yourself to visit a boyfriend/fiance? I don't think I'm alone on this one here.
We've still got some wedding details I want to have worked out before he leaves too. I know we've talked a little bit about some of the plans, but I don't think there's really anything definite yet. I'd like to set a date (my main priority), choose a definitive color scheme, etc. If I get to visit him in Texas, I think I'll have more of a chance to get those things decided.
Oh, and about the cd mix I want to give him. I have decided on a few songs, I just don't know what order I want to place the tracks. Each song has some sort of special meaning to us and our relationship, and I want it to be like a timeline of our love, but I can't think of a way to put it together and still have it flow the way a cd should. He's supposed to give me a list of some of his favorite songs, so that may help if I need to bridge some tracks together and make it flow. Does that make any sense? I think it does, but I'm gonna end this entry here since it's getting kinda long and I tend to ramble with the more I write.

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So...my sister and her boyfriend were planning on moving to New York next week. Well, I guess Jason (Kaiti's boyfriend) got a call last night about a job offer in New Port Richey, so they're going to possibly move there instead. It'd be a lot cheaper, and a lot more convenient for not just the two of them, but for the rest of our family as well. My mom kind-of joked this morning about us sharing an apartment, but my sister said no to that pretty quickly. It hurt my feelings quite a bit--I know we're not friends or anything more than two people who grew up in the same house together, but still. I need a place to live over in that direction, she now needs a place over in that direction...it'd be cheaper for us to be paying for one apartment together than two apartments separately. And I'd be close to IADT for classes, and Trinity to visit my friends. I'm going to try talking to my mom about it later, and maybe she can talk to my sister. I know my school is in Tampa, but it's not far from New Port Richey, either. I could deal. It's only about a half hour drive...and the traffic isn't half as bad as it is here in Poinciana.

[ By the way, I don't agree with my sister living with her boyfriend, but for the most part, I've given up trying to be friend with or interfere in my sister's life (even if there's good reason behind doing so).]

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Well, I told my parents last night I was applying at Starbucks at the Florida Mall. They say the mall is too far away, but I really don't care. I wanna work at the mall, and actually have a life! And somebody told me that Starbuck's usually pays pretty well for entry-level positions. I doubt that Starbucks is the only good-pay place at the Florida Mall, so anywhere inside there is probably a good bet. And it's someplace that I actually want to work--not just convenient because it's a mile or two from home. I'm sick of having to find someplace closer to my house; I'm either not happy at those places, or not making enough money. I'm still going to apply at the mall, I don't care if the rest of my family thinks it's too far. Lynx exists for a reason, you know? I looked online this morning and it appears that taking the 26 from my house to Osceola Square Mall, and then transferring to the number 4 bus will get me up to the Florida Mall, which is my destination. Still going to take a day to figure out the length of time it'll actually take to get there. Also, I'm going to look into getting a bus pass when I get a job up there.

7 days left until my 20th birthday!! Yay! My parents asked what I wanted and where I wanted to go next week, but I haven't decided. I know I want the two seasons of Friends that I'm missing (Seasons 7 and 8.), along with Beverly Mitchell's new CD, Beverley Mitchell. Other than that, I'm really game for whatever. A laptop would be cool!! I also asked for a webcam, since Ed asks about every other week if I've gotten one yet. As for where to go, I have no idea. My usual favorite is Fazoli's, but it's so inexpensive and my birthday is the one day I can say whatever restaurant, and regardless of the expense, we go there. I was thinking Olive Garden, but I like Macaroni Grill too. I just don't want anybody singing to me, and I'm pretty sure they do that at both of those places. (MG for sure; heard them singing to someone else just last week! OG seems like a place that would do the same..) I wanna go somewhere different though, someplace new, and I have no idea. I'll probably think more about it this afternoon during my walk.

Yeah. I'm going to start walking, and eating a little healthier from now on. I haven't had soda in a couple days! Also bought Shape magazine at Walden's while we were out last night for Joe's birthday; it's probably my favorite of the health/fitness magazines because it's got the health/fitness articles, but it's also got a little bit of the fashion side as well.

I think that's all I've got to say for now, so I'll end with that. Pray that I get a job at the Florida Mall, that Ed is kept safe from harm and does well on his next PT test, and that I get accepted in to Trinity College for the fall! (Somebody remind me on Sunday to turn in my Pastoral/Spiritual Reference form to Pastor Karl or his wife, please!)

Love, Laura

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Some days without Edward are torture. All I can think about is being in his arms, greeting him at the Airport with a big a hug, and just staring into his eyes forever. It's days like these that I wish I was in Ft. Hood with some other military wives who know exactly what I'm going through; I'd have to someone to talk to who would really feel for me and not just give me sympathetic looks and responses. I can talk to my friends at church, and my friends from online forums I lurk at, but it's not the same. They aren't in my position, and most never will be, if any do find themselves in this position in the future. Sometimes I wonder if time would pass by a little quicker if I was in Ft Hood with some other military wives. The only one I know around here is Ed's mom. But his dad isn't in the military anymore, so she's not really a military wife anymore. Sigh. I don't know, I just don't know. I'm going to look into some colleges in the Ft. Hood/Killeen area that maybe I could start in the Spring/Summer? If any of ya'll know of any in the area, please help me out by providing a link. I'd like to major in Psychology, and a Christian school would be a plus!

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You know what's stressing me out the most right now? Ed. In different ways too. In one way, I'm stressing out about life without him. He's headed to Iraq at the end of the month, and all I can do is pray that he will return, safe and sound. I want more than prayers, I want some sort of sign to show me that he really is going to come home alive and well. I don't know what I'll do if, God forbid, anything happens and I'm forced to move on without him. I don't think I could do it. I really don't know.
On the other hand, I feel like our wedding isn't that far off, and I've basically got to do all of the planning myself. I know both our parents will help me out, but still. There are still some decisions I've got to make and some of them I don't know if he'll be okay with or not. Like the color scheme? What if I pick something he doesn't like? I know he's not going to Iraq until the end of the month, so I still have time to call him and ask him about some of the details, but what if I forget something? What if I think of something I need to ask him, that needs an immediate answer, but he's in Iraq and we can't call each other on the phone? It's not my wedding, it's our wedding. I want him to be happy with the ceremony too.
School is also very stressful. And I'm only taking one online course! It's more likely that I'm stressing over getting my schoolwork done and turned in on time while my laptop keeps crashing everytime I try to go online. Yeah, I got two other computers I can use, but what about those times when it's unavailable? Ugh. Why does life got to be some complicated?
Anyway, I'm fixing to head over to Bloomingdale's to complete a second application for a job there. I'd love to be a sales associate over there, I could work my way up to managing a Bloomingdale's department (in time)!

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So, I went to Bloomingdale's yesterday and completed the second application. I forgot the name of the person who recommended me, and ended up putting that I'd found out they were hiring through the internet instead. I emailed her this morning pointing out my mistake..probably should have just left it as it was, and let it go. Eh, the emails already in her inbox now, not much else I can do about it.
I talked to Ed again. Apparently he has 15 days of vacations he can use next year between January and August before he comes home in November. He wants me to pick a month for him to come back so we can married, I think. I don't know, but he said he wants my input on when I want him to come home for vacation. We both agreed that it should be more toward July or August, cause then when he left he'd only have a few months left before he comes home for good. I'm leaning more towards June or July though. I don't know. I guess we still got a little time before we have to decide on that though.
In other news...wait. What other news? I don't think I have anything else to write about...I could talk about school, but what about it? Hm. My professor extended the deadline for one of our papers which helped me out a little bit. I turned in the assignment today (the deadline is tonight at 11:55), although I'm still not unsure of one of the questions. I don't feel like fixing it though, so I decided to be lazy and turn it in anyway. It's probably going to hurt me on a point or two. Ugh. Oh, well. I know better for next time, right?
I'm thinking of entered Seventeen's 'Be a Guest Editor' contest. I love writing, and I've always wanted to be an editor of a magazine. This could be my chance. I just have to think of something to write about. Any ideas? I was thinking of writing about my fiance going to Iraq, but that seems like it's overdone in the media nowadays. They have plenty of soldier stories out there, don't they? I want to do something different! Come on, people; give me some ideas!!!

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