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le_battement
Age. 37
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. White stuff
Location Sunnyside, NY
School. Rutgers Univ
» More info.
Cops and Donuts
Tuesday, Morning
I've always wondered why people in general like donuts. I don't think I've ever met a single individual who would pass on a donut. There are so many different types of donuts, so I assume that the sheer customability inherent in the selection of donuts would attract anybody.

Still, there are those that cannot seem to function correctly without donuts. Police officers for years have been equivocated with the consumption of donuts. I did some research and gathered some opinions on the matter, and came up with a few simple explanations:

- Donuts contain carbohydrates and sugar. This energy may be needed in tight situations, so it's always good to be pumped up on sugar.
- Donuts cost very little. Their inexpensiveness allows them to be tossed aside if an important situation arises, like a criminal burgling the apple stand across the street. You can see cops throw down their donuts in many movies. Just look for it.
- Donut shops are oftentimes open all night. This, coupled with the fact that there are always donut shops in the middle of the city or town, makes the donut shop a prime location for a police rendézvous.
- Donuts are obviously delicious.


In fact, they are so delicious that it prompted Renee Perry to write a poem about their apparent qualities from the viewpoint of Vash the Stampede, a lover of donuts:

"Ode to a Donut"
O donut, donut, round and glazed,
your sweet brown form in sugar hazed,
your yummy taste leaves my mind amazed.
Hallucinating dozens, I think I'm dazed
by donuts. I heard shouting and gazed
upon boxes full of them. I was fazed.
Believe me, I have left bakeries razed.
I would let ladies leave me maced and tazed
for love of the donut, powdered or glazed.


As you can see, some people are insane.
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42 Comments.

Interesting
Well, I guess people write poems about anything nowadays. It's pretty interesting. I love doughnuts, but I don't eat them everyday. What I think is weird is that my cousin used to work in Dunkin' Donuts and I didn't see any police officers (atleast with the uniform) go there. Maybe there were but they didn't have a uniform. I don't know... How come people have become used to spelling doughnuts as 'd-o-n-u-t'? lol. Stupid Dunkin' Donuts with their bad spelling. Obsession and sugar's good, but just not everyday. I guess that's what makes an obsession and just liking something different. I've gotten slower and slower each day.
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-07-06 10:59:03


Yeah, I usually like to spell things the way they were originally spelled, but nowadays "doughnut" has become a sort of old english spelling, like "shoppe" or "olde." I never really thought about how or when exactly words like that change, but I now realize that donut is a perfect example in recent history.
» le_battement on 2004-07-06 11:43:04


wow, very interesting. yea everything iz spelled weird today. and i have a friend that doesn't like doughnuts. she doesn't like cake or cookies or chocolate! the picture and poem iz a lil bit odd. i guess there are people that are insane over doughnuts.
» Midnight on 2004-07-06 02:28:13


Well the poem and picture are just mocking an anime character that likes donuts. I really don't like cake, cookies, or [especially] chocolate. Chocolate sucks so bad. Donuts arew cool though. I don't like donuts that are too sugary with tons of icing.. Plain donuts or slightly glazed are awesome though.
» le_battement on 2004-07-06 02:32:58

"yea everything iz spelled weird today."
iz ... IZ ... [twitch]
» LifelessEyelid on 2004-07-06 03:04:36


around here, policemen aren't allowed into doughnut shops with their uniforms on... It's strange.
something about their reputation, or something like that...
» invisible on 2004-07-06 03:12:24


Where do you live, invisible.. HELL?
» le_battement on 2004-07-06 03:48:04

i still say twinkies.
you know what's interesting: there is an advertisement for dunkin donuts on the banner at the top of your page. this must mean the cops are tracking you. i don't think you should waste your time attempting to uncover a conspiracy between policemen and donuts, i think you should do some research on Twinkies, Satan's Snacks for Children. and who cares about cops? most of them aren't even remotely attractive. wouldn't it be better for them to be attractive? that way, they'd be more distracting and they could obtain their suspects more easily. and why is "donut" a 'weird' spelling?
» roshan (68.40.58.114) on 2004-07-06 04:07:01


Donut is a weird spelling because it's the shortened form of "doughnut." Just like "thru" and "nite." There is an ad at the top of my page because Google ads raed the text on your page and put up relevant ads.
» le_battement on 2004-07-06 04:26:59

i don't like cookies or cake either.
glazed doughnuts are my favorite. for some reason, i like doughnut holes better.... even though they don't taste any different. a police officer i knew once said people can get a ticket for telling an officer to go eat a doughnut... but i'm thinking he might've been pulling my leg because i was harassing him.
» jamie on 2004-07-06 05:41:12


oh yeah...vash vash..that goofy guy who can get beaten up by an 8 year old...hmmm...sooner or later we'll be speaking like how we do on the computer. I'll be like "Im space bored space dot space dot space dot" Interesting. My favorite regular doughnuts are strawberry ones. I call strawberry regular because it's basically plain. The ones that are like cinnamon or whatever flavored I call Supercalifragiwhateverduper flavors. I have a craving for donuts now...
» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-07-06 08:11:32

you confuse me.

» jamie on 2004-07-06 08:19:57


Vash didn't get beat up by an eight year old. It was more like four or five eight year olds.
» le_battement on 2004-07-06 08:39:52

Sometimes, I wonder about you...

















Bowboy Bebop Rules...





Go Spike!
» JINX!!! on 2004-07-06 09:49:58

Damn, I meant Cowboy Bebop*
Well, there goes the dramatic effect...
» JINX!!! on 2004-07-06 09:50:51


Thanks for ruining my comments with your huge gap.
» le_battement on 2004-07-07 09:20:24


i like donuts but i like them more when a car almost hits u then and u throw a bow full of donuts at the car making alot of them stick to the windshield thats when i love donuts
» seewun on 2004-07-07 10:43:16


box full
» seewun on 2004-07-07 10:43:59

seriously
cops can't go into doughnut shops with their uniforms on.
One of my friends' dad is a cop, and she told me it to be so.

My city's weird anyways, just like it's populants.
like you can't put up signs on the corner for like a garage sale, or something like that.
But people do it anyways.

just weird.
» invisible on 2004-07-07 11:41:17

oh, and nice dave banner.
=)
» invisible on 2004-07-07 11:42:20

Hey
Sorry about the huge gap, hehe. Yeah I like that donuts poem, and your right, I can never turn down a donut.


» JINX!!! on 2004-07-07 05:05:12


you can come up with some really intersting topics...sexy site.
» Orli_My_Love on 2004-07-08 12:30:13

seksie
yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-ah
» jamie on 2004-07-08 01:11:10

I'm not really...
into doughnuts. So, I guess I could say I pass on them a lot. They're a bit to "yeasty" I guess. I don't like the way it feels to eat them. Homer is cool with me though...
» Jon (66.185.0.224) on 2004-07-08 02:19:24

Er...
Too* yeasty,... yeah.
» Jon (66.185.0.224) on 2004-07-08 02:24:11


haha...yes, SEXY!!!!
» Orli_My_Love on 2004-07-08 04:02:25


MY shit is too long?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. don't ever say that again, bro. you know, you really remind me of Dave the Laugh. two peanuts were walking down the street. one was aSALTED. hehehehehe. anyway, my point was going to be this: cowboy bebop DOES rule.
» roshanda (68.40.58.114) on 2004-07-08 06:04:29

Gotta love Doughnuts
I love Doughnuts... But i have never seen a policeman in a doughnut shop.. That would be so cool.
» ModestMouse on 2004-07-08 07:33:37


roshanda... you go girl!
» JINX!!! on 2004-07-08 09:18:18

heh
You haven't had a donut until you ate on at Krispy Cream.
» eXiled on 2004-07-09 01:20:26


doughnuts...ick.
» ceridwen328 on 2004-07-09 03:29:35

mhmm
i loooooove krispy creams.
» jamie on 2004-07-09 04:20:07

mmmmmmm
i cannot ever pass up a Krispy Kreme donought...they are so utterly scrumdiddlyumcious. but my mum says that she can pass up a donought after shes read the ingredients and the nutrion fact...go figure
» JoLiE_PaPiLlIoN on 2004-07-10 10:50:38


Krispy Kreme can blow me. I hate the whole company. Everything they make is way too sugary and tastes like crap. I eatdoughnuts because they're nuts of dough, not because they're harbingers of sugar and indigestion.
» le_battement on 2004-07-11 02:30:32


do you guys have red's doughnut back east? those are really good too
» jamie on 2004-07-11 07:47:13


No.
» le_battement on 2004-07-12 02:16:53


hmm, what about super smash bros.? can you even play that at lan parties? and waht is warcraft? i'm going to suck ass, dude.
» roshan (68.40.58.114) on 2004-07-13 05:09:41


eww, warcraft.
» jamie on 2004-07-13 07:21:40


warcraft is awesome
» JINX!!! on 2004-07-14 02:48:49


Haha, you're a retard Roshan. Games that you play at LAN parties are COMPUTER games. They're usually games where like 32 people can play at once, and each person gets his own screen. Super Smash Bros. would be pointless to play at a LAN party; You only need one screen.
» le_battement on 2004-07-14 10:37:21

shhheeeessh
it was just a question, biatch. can't you still play other games at lan parties, regardless of how many screens you need? i mean, don't people take breaks if you dont' have enough computers? i have all this to find out this saturday. i am not a retard, i simply am curious and unknowledgeable when it comes to lan parties, that's all. counterstrike is a severely annoying game, and it also includes discrimination. why is it only terrorists vs. counter-terrorists? this sounds like it's exactly what bush wants..if you're not with us, you're against us. i knew it.
» roshan (68.40.58.114) on 2004-07-14 12:42:17


Yes, I'm sure that if you have a friend, they might let you play for a ittle while on their computer. It's not like there are these laws you need to follow. If you want to play, just say "Hey, can I play for a little while?" The games that are played at LAN parties are multiplayer, usually from like 4-32 players. Having your own sscreen ensures privacy so that other people dont' know what you're doing. This is good for strategy games, or FPS.
» le_battement on 2004-07-14 01:29:44


ah, of course. i remember warcraft now, with the little wizard. i played that once.. well i'm sure there aren't "laws", i was just noting the fact that super smash bros. is a fun game to play when you're in the hospital playing with a kid that suffers from PTSD. also, star fox sucks.
» (68.40.58.114) on 2004-07-15 01:42:48

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