The more and more I think about it, the worse and worse I feel.

We received an e-mail this morning from the lady whose child passed away last week telling us when the viewing and burial was and that we were all welcome to come. Then, someone sent out a big e-mail with a tribute site to little baby Lorenzo so I opened it up at work and I just wanted to bawl at my desk. I looked at one picture on the front of the site and my eyes filled with tears. I couldn't even look at the rest of the site at work because I was so tore up. I went and talked to other people and just wanted to cry.

I looked at the website at home and it seriously hit close to home...SO CLOSE. All the little baby pictures are the same pictures that I have of Gregory when he was that little. I think of all the things that baby Lorenzo will never be able to see...and places he'll never be able to go and I wish that would have never happened to them. They are such good people and this is just horribly devastating. I hate even thinking about it, but who could even sit there and deny that this did not happen. My eyes are filling up with tears right now as I try to write it. I feel so broken on the inside...I feel so broken for them. I couldn't even fathom what it would be like to be in their shoes. I don't know if I want to feel what it feels like to be in their shoes.

His viewing is tomorrow and I am trying to get the guts up to go to it. I want to go with all my heart, but I don't know if I will be able to handle it. If I do go, I'm going to go with someone from my work. I told her that I didn't want to go alone. To think, this is the last time that anyone is going to be able to see his cute little baby face, his cute little baby hands, his cute little baby body...then he'll be gone from this earth, physically, on Wednesday. How HORRIBLE...HOW COMPLETELY HORRIBLE! Your body works 9 months raising a healthy, beautiful baby that you give to the world on their birthday...and they were only able to spend 4 months with him. They held him, loved him, nurtured him and God took him away. Life can be so cruel sometimes. Did he really deserve to go? Maybe...but no little baby should have to leave the earth before his parents.

Ugh...I'm sorry. I'm just tore up...I keep rehashing this...but it's only because it keeps running over and over through my head...what if it were me? what if it were me...

=[
» LostSoul13 on 2008-02-26 01:00:53

im sooo sry to hear that. i wanted to cry just reading your entry. that makes me sooo mad! but maybe God has bigger plans for him, if you believe in that stuff, but everything happens for reasons, despite how cruel they are, but it shows how much the baby is loved & missed.
» Jinaiah on 2008-02-26 01:59:03

Aww... Don't cry~ *hugs*

Thanks for the meaning, even though it's just half of it.
» Nuttz on 2008-02-26 03:34:37

I am here for you
It is a tragedy, but who can ever explain why God chooses to take some from us. Have faith that God has a plan and believe in it.

I hope you know that I am here for you if you need me. I didn't know this was bothering you this much.

~~~~~HUGS to YOU!~~~~~~~~


» pyrogrrl12 on 2008-02-26 05:41:20

*in silent mode for support*
» renaye on 2008-02-26 10:52:17

I'm so sorry for their loss. I went to my friends little girl's funeral and I was glad I went. The only thing I wish I shouldn't have done was went up to the casket. She died of SID's. They dressed her up just like a Princess and for months after that I couldn't sleep. Every time I closed my eyes I seen her in the little pink dress with her tiny white gloves on. I would have to get up and go watch Ethan sleep for hours. Her and Ethan were a month apart. I always worried about SIDs from the day Ethan was born but after her funeral it was too close to home. I still think about Aubree everyday. But you are right no parent should have to bury their child. It's just not right. My prayers are with you all. XoXo
» Princess_00 on 2008-02-27 01:18:31

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