Often times, I feel like everyone comes to me for advice. Sometimes I am up to the challenge and other times, I just want to make everything better. Sometimes people come to me to just complain and other times, they want a legitimate answer.

I have always wondered why they choose me to unload this burden. Why do they look to me for answers? Hell, half the time, I could probably use my own advice. I seriously wonder what it is about me that makes people want to tell me their problems and seek answers.

This past week has been a thinking week for me. More and more, I find myself thinking "What if Gregory dies?" I know I shouldn't think like this, but seriously, what would I do if he all of a sudden died...in his sleep, in a car accident, whereve. To be honest, I do not know if I could go on living without the little guy. I would have a complete meltdown. He's such a LARGE part of my life right now and if he were gone, it would be so empty. Would I kill myself? Probably not. Would I wallow in depression, DEEP DEPRESSION...most likely. The other thing I think of is Gregory being taken away from me. What if I do something that would cause him to be taken away from me? If Brian and I were to separate, who would have custody? Would his parents fight me for custody? Would I ever see him again? All I ever wanted since I was 16 was to have a son named Gregory. Now that he's here, I don't know what I'd ever do without him!!! It's so nervewracking!!

In other news, Melissa (pyrogrrl12) and I went to see License to Wed last night. That movie was SOOOO funny. I don't know if you've seen the commercials, but it's about a couple who has to do a marriage class before they can get married in this church and Robin Williams (funniest man alive) is the reverand. Well, at one point in the course, they have these mechanical babies and I laughed so hard I was crying. Those babies did some of the things that Gregory did and it was just so funny watching them try to handle these babies. Now I know that people probably laugh at me when Gregory is being unruly in the store or something because I was sure laughing at them. I liked when the babies went into meltdown mode...lol...they were flailing their arms and crying like real babies do. It was great!

Another person is starting in my area today. We'll see if she stays longer than 1 week. When I was gone on maternity leave, I guess my job was like a revolving door. People came in and a week later, they went out. It happened like this for 4 weeks! They had 5 people within a month. It was a nightmare. Why the hell do I stay in this position then? I told my manager that I think when people start in the position, they're like, "Oh, this is okay." As the week progresses, they actually see how crappy the things we do are and by Friday, they're like, "Screw this...it's not worth my time." I've seen it happen 2 times already since I've been back (I came back full time in April). The one person that I thought would thrive over here and she was over here for a month, they moved to the cash receipts department. It completely SUCKED.

Anyway, I better get to work. I have TONS of things to do today and essentially, not a lot of time to do them. Fun stuff...fun stuff...

For those kind of mind boggling situations, cross the bridge when you get to it or you'll be afraid and that'll have an effect on Greg too..

Licence to Wed! I wana watch it but I don't know when it comes out in Malaysia.

Hope you get a permanent new person in your department soon.. I don't want you to work too much and fall sick. By the way, Harry Potter's fate will be known this Saturday! I can't wait! Everyone's telling me that he's going to die!
» Nuttz on 2007-07-18 10:33:34

I sometimes think the same thing about Ethan. I check on him a 100 times at night, I hardly ever leave him with anyone, and when I do have to leave I call every 10 -15 mins. I would probably kill myself if something like death took him. As for the custody thing, it's really hard to take a child from their mother. Nothing is going to happen so I wouldn't worry about it. All it's doing is stressing you out. I do understand that it's hard not to. But try and think of better things.
» Princess_00 on 2007-07-18 12:51:51

It always seems that when someone comes to you for advice you can come up with the best possible advice ever. but when you need advice, even though some of the stuff you told someone else could apply to you, you have trouble heeding it. You think, oh that wouldn't work; my situation is different. I'm sort of going through that now ... in an odd way.
haha, I want to see License to Wed. The previews make it look so funny. I don't have the time or the money right now; esp not the money.
isn't your Muse concert tonight? if so have fun! if not then uhm ... have fun doing whatever it is that you happen to do.
» LostSoul13 on 2007-07-18 05:31:50

I have the same experiences with my friends. I am always the one giving advice. What's frustrating is, sometimes I wonder if I should keep helping them out, as I am finding out more and more that it is not reciprocated.
» alexsedotcx on 2007-07-18 07:19:44

Well... you probably jsut give good advice. that's the only reason I can think of.

Your fear of Gregory dying is probably just some sort of natural parent anxiety. Unless you put him in a situation with lots of danger [skydiving with a baby?] he should be fine.
» randomjunk on 2007-07-18 07:34:49

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.