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A little bit about me...


lazypuppy
Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. Caucasian
Location Northglenn, CO
School. Other
» More info.
ugh...
Monday. 10.30.06 9:41 am
It's definitely Monday...I can feel it in my body. You know, that feeling when you wake up and you automatically feel like shit, but you have to get up anyway...that's what I feel like this morning.

Not to mention, I'm fatigued and exhausted already and I barely just woke up an hour ago. I'm sure this is due to my anemia or something. You don't realize just how tired you feel until you really think about it. I thought it was just regular wear-and-tear on the body, but I seriously feel like shit. Sad thing, all I can think about is what happened to me yesterday and I don't want it to happen again either. I guess I am over analyzing things a bit too much. AND THEN, I had a horrible dream last night that I went into labor (now...at 29 weeks) and all I could think about was my baby not surviving and I was sitting in a hospital bed and people were walking by me, staring at me...criticizing me. I was so scared...

GRANTED, it was just a dream, but to many women, it's a reality. People do have their babies at 29 weeks...and people's babies do and don't survive. Call me selfish, I just don't want to be one of those women. I can truly see myself being one of those women who goes into premature labor due to stress and high blood pressure.

So far, my blood pressure has been normal (the last time it was checked as at the hospital and I was 121 over 80 which is practically perfect) but my family sort of has a history of high blood pressure and I could have it to, eventually. Case in point...I get my anger problems from my dad. We both have very short fuses. It gets to the point that (I'm sure some of you have felt this, at least once) you can actually feel the blood pulsing through your veins (i.e. I suppose where that saying comes from...makes your blood boil). That's how frustrated I get sometimes...and I know that's not healthy. I've gotten so mad (at myself, mind you...I never really get this mad at other people) that I start to hyperventilate. Now, that's pretty bad...I want to change.

But, enough about my medical fears and personality problems. No one wants to hear about that...lol...Most of the time I'm a happy-go-lucky person, easy going, easy to deal with...so you probably won't see my alter-ego at any point.

Anyway, I best get to doing something productive. Month end...lots of things to do that need to be done in the next 2 days.

EDIT - I talked to my doctor's office and the whole thing sounds strange. She asked if I wanted to come in earlier than next Thursday just to check everything out, and I decided not to. If it happens again, I'm going to go to the doctor's office and we'll figure it out there.

I also called the hospital on my lunch and registered for some classes. They start next Tuesday, so hopefully I can learn about stuff that I don't know a darn thing about (which is most of this baby thing...)...my evenings are going to be busy here coming up soon. Classes every Tuesday for the next month, hospital tour on the 6th of December, another class on some other random night...maybe one more class. It's going to be like going to school all over again...where will I find time to do anything!

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