Living in Korea, I have had a lot of time to think about this, but it was only today, when I heard about that new book by the Chinese woman, that I decided I might as well put my thoughts down and see what they look like.



In Korea, there are all kinds of mothers, but they do have one thing in common: they want their children to excel. Some mothers are better at it than others. Some of them give their children nervous ticks, some of them yell at their child's teachers and hope they will do it for them, some parents end up with really smart inquisitive children, but the standard is there.

This is what I have determined after watching all of these parents. It's not how hard or how little you ride a kid, it's about the standard you set and how well you teach them to reach those standards.

There is no question that negative reinforcement, positive reinforcement and punishment, used alone or in combination, teach people lessons. So, that fact that a lot of ways of rearing a child are effective should not be alarming to us. Nor should it be alarming that if you spend many hours on a limited number of tasks you will excel at those limited number of tasks. This is where we run into trouble: what limited number of tasks are you going to chose?

While I appreciate math, I think science is pretty cool, and the violin seems like it could be kind of fun if you learned how to play it, but those aren't the top list items for:

What I would like to teach my children

1.) Love and compassion for their fellow men. I imagine that when I grow up, I am going to have a pretty small house, but one thing I will not compromise on is having a good guest room with its own laundry facilities and bathroom. I also want to have it filled with some kind of guest as much as possible. It just seems right to build my house around the thing that is most important to me: being welcoming.

2.) Knowing how to be happy wherever you are. If you love people, you will always have the opportunity to be happy. If you learn to block out all those things that don't really matter, then nothing can stop you.

3.) Commitment. Probably one of the hardest one of my list so far is commitment. Mostly because I feel, being so unsure as to what I want for myself, I haven't made any long term commitments in a long time. But I know I can teach them to show up when they say they will and that trait alone will take you a long way.

4.) Work Ethic. If you don't try your best, then it isn't worth doing. I think this is one of those lessons you have to relearn your whole life: what is my best? After that, it is just a matter of applying it to whatever you do.

5.) Honesty. Mean what you say and say what you mean. Honesty has always been so important to me and I think that this quality is most responsible for who I am and how people view me. After all, how can people ever trust you, if they don't know when you're telling the truth?

I could at more, but at the risk of being verbose (too late), I won't. These five things (love being the greatest of all) those are the things that I would have them skip sleepovers for. Those are the things that I would have them work through dinner for. Why? Because they actually matter.

Is it "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother"?

What are you doing in Korea?
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