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Internal conflicts.
Wednesday. 1.9.13 11:37 pm
I'm sorry for my lack of presence here on NuTang, and for seeming to only come here when I want to talk about something personal that I would rather share with unbiased peers that know nothing about my background.

Bottom line, it is difficult feeling so selfish and possessive over things that are not meant to be possessed. It's difficult having your best friend as your roommate, and introducing to her to what used to be "your" group of friends. It's difficult to feel like they like her better than they like you, and it's most difficult to feel all of these things when none of them are her intentions, or even her fault for that matter.

It's difficult because this is something I can't talk to her about, and it's difficult because it is taking a toll on my feelings towards my friends and my thoughts on returning to school (which I am currently dreading.)

The thing is, when we are together one-on-one it is completely and perfectly harmonious. We are great roommates. Granted, I would love if she went to bed a little earlier, but such is not a big deal in the slightest.

What's worse is the close friends I have outside of this group are literally ALL studying abroad this semester. So any kind of salvation I had will be put on hold until August.

And it is even worse that I am feeling this way because I don't want to feel this way and I shouldn't feel this way, but unfortunately I have admitted to myself that I am a naturally possessive, jealous person who needs to work on her insecurities.

If you have been through something similar, please let me know how you dealt with these types of feelings! Hope you're all having a great day!

I have been through similar things!
After sulking for a while I generally got over it by ignoring it. Over time I've formed new friends.

...that seems pretty unhealthy, actually. It's good that I'm happy with the friends I have now, at least.

But I get what you mean; it sucks because it's not something that you can really go to anyone about. Wish I could be more helpful! :]
» middaymoon on 2013-01-10 06:00:18

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