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I...I can't believe you broke the rules.
Wednesday. 1.28.09 5:03 pm
Apparently I think a lot. I'm sure all human beings think a lot, some more than others.
Maybe not think a lot, so to speak, but...elaborate on their thoughts. My friend told me today that I think too much. She was mostly referring to my need to have a plan for everything I do. I mostly get that form my mother (yeah, thanks, Mom).

But...there was another thing. This morning I was riding with my mom through what people would most commonly think of as (PLEASE do not call me racist for this, because I'm not) "the hood." Neither of us were speaking, therefore there was silence, therefore I was observing and thinking. I decided to break the silence and tell her what I was thinking.

I told her how ironic I thought it was that so much crime happened around the area, and how there were churches around every corner. I mean, I know not everyone is Christian, but that is just a bit ironic.

She pauses for a moment, taking in what I've just said, I guess? I don't know. Then she responds, "It's odd that you would think of something like that. It's very...thoughtful and deep, in a way."

I never really thought of it as "deep." Just...I don't know. Wouldn't everyone see that same irony? Wouldn't other people open their eyes wide enough to make that ironic connection?

I don't know. I hear people talk, a lot. Some people say that others "try" to be deep when they speak. I just...I don't know. I've observed a lot more, lately. I don't see how someone could judge someones opinions and say that they were trying too hard to...think deeply.

Also. Today I got frustrated at one of my closer friends. She's also in full IB, and she said that she wasn't going to re-take any exams that she failed because "even though she failed the exam, she still passed the class with a C, which, if you think about it, actually equals a B." I'm sorry, but bullshit. Somehow that excuse actually worked on her mom, too. Using a different scaling for IB is no excuse to stop trying. Especially when other people work twice as hard and get the same grade as to others who barely have to try.

THEN. She was flipping through her history book, and I saw highlighted pages. I told her she was lucky to have all of the pages pre-highlighted for her. She told me she did the highlightings herself. What the hell. That is purposely destroying school property. Just because you might be able to get away with something like that, doesn't mean you should.

I was so aggravated with her for doing those things. I still am. And I hope she has to pay for the book damages.

I still don't know! It just frustrates me to know that while I'm trying to better myself, get better grades, be an over all better person, other people can just sit by. I know I should focus on myself and not worry about others, but somehow I keep dwelling on the fact that life within itself is not fair, and will most likely never be fully fair. I don't want to bring unhappiness upon others, I don't want that at all. I just wish that everyone could find the same motivation and drive to just...be better.

This all probably sounds very selfish and self-centered of me. Oh well. Another rant over with.

Sometimes it's up to the people who care to help the people who don't.
» randomjunk on 2009-01-28 07:44:59

First of all, I think students should be able to just buy electronic copies of their books and use laptops in class, because then highlighting a book is no problem.

And then to the trying to think too deeply...actually, I have to disagree with you there. Some people just have a premeditated tone about them that...I guess not everyone sees. Not MANY people see, even, but for some reason I kind of feel the person calculating. I can't say you haven't done it. :P I always know the exact moment you notice a camera pointed at you, hahaha. It's just something that you can feel in some people. So I understand where this person was coming from, in saying that.
» Unicornasaurus on 2009-01-28 09:27:19

when i share my deep thinking with certain friends, they say i'm weird because no one at my age would think of something unpredictable in 20 years time. they even say i'm mad. when i share deep thinking about how significant the environment is with shallow minded friends, they say i got no life and environment is a never ending resource. so now i learnt my lesson: only share certain topics with certain friends.
» renaye on 2009-01-29 01:26:15

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