Sunday. 8.17.08 10:35 pm
I suppose I could start admitting to things I've done, instead of trying to make up excuses on how I rarely do them, anymore.
I'm getting quite annoyed with one of my friends. Ex-boyfriend, to be exact. It has been...10 months since we have broken up, about. Yes, I've dated two of his friends. Yes, that was most likely bad on my part. Yes, I realize all this, and having people rag me about it doesn't help, thank you. But...I am getting fed up. He makes tiny smart-ass remarks, keeps making me feel guilty by bringing the breakup up in random moments, keeps trying to make me feel jealous because he's in college now and I'm still in high school for two more years, and tries to be best friends through my mom.
To explain that last part, my mom and his mom are pretty good friends. Lately, any time he wants to spend "extra quality time" with me, he would ask my mother to volunteer me to do something with him. If I have plans or work, I have to change my schedule around. He laughs, I get fed up. Like, for example, I was going to have to help him move to USC the other day, when I had work. Mom told me to move me to a later shift. Fortunately, I had to take a Driver's Ed course all day.
Reading over everything I just wrote, I realize that it makes me sound very shallow. Who knows, maybe all of this makes me shallow. He wants to stay friends, and he is hurt, because I've hurt him, and I can't fix it. So I suppose I can take the guilt-trips and small remarks without complaint. To an extent.
It's just...that kind of stuff isn't going to make me want to hang out more. I will not hang out with him out of pity. But I'm not going to want to continue to be around him if he will continue to act like this.
I guess I have to make some changes to my attitude, as well.
My birthday is in 13 days. If I pass the test, I get my restricted license on Tuesday. Twilight comes out 3 weeks before originally intended (Old date: 12.12.08 New date: 11.21.08) I am obviously excited about these things.
And, I guess you could say I'm excited to start school. My butt is going to get whooped this year because of full IB, but I am going to try my best to pull through with decent, satisfying grades.
This morning around 6:00 AM, I woke up to a huge thunder/lightning storm. I could hear the wind outside, too. I honestly thought a Tornado was coming, but that I was too far from the emergency siren to be able to hear it. I was so scared that I almost went and slept with my mom. But I sucked it up. Yet...after a while, I was able to fall back asleep to the sound of thunder.
Hm. Maybe I'm getting over my fear. I just...know that storms cause destruction, sometimes. And that's what I'm always scared of. And I don't want to let my guard down, and then something horrible happen.
Of course, that's what happens, sometimes, when you let your guard down.
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