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Sanity! Where art thou? (more venting, of course. same ol same ol)
Sunday. 6.12.11 9:45 pm
I'm terribly dreading this engagement party this weekend. Stupid dramatic crazy parent(s).

My poor brother gets to deal with my mother, and while I want to be there for him, I really don't want to deal with her crazy bullshit.

She tells me "Oh don't let my craziness stop you from coming home", like it's alright that she's crazy, and I should just put up with it.

She gets one more visit, and if she lets loose with the crazy, I'm going to tell her that she can stop using "crazy" as a crutch, if she were concerned about it, then she'd get help, and by help I don't mean sending Rod Parsley 50 dollars and getting people to "pray for her", because clearly it isn't working, and I'm really tired of her doing this crap. After I let loose with this tirade of "Fix it or shut up", I won't be in any form of contact until there is proof that she is seeking medical help, and not "oh I need to fix my diet" but "I have serious mental issues that need to be addressed".

As much as I'd love to actually do these things, we all know that in likelihood, it's not going to happen. Though I have called her out on her craziness before.

I'm just really tired of her acting like everything is okay and she can treat us like shit because "oh it's okay I'm crazy you'll have to ignore it". No. I don't have to ignore it, because good lord has it thrown me off and it's throwing everything off, and for the love of shit it's not something anyone should have to grow up with.

Now that I have wasted yet another three pages ranting about my favorite person:

I've forgotten what the hell I was going to post about.

Oh.
That.

My facebook feed is always full of people and their "oh lookit we gots married". I'm not sure why this bothers me at all, but it does. I have a feeling it has to do with my favorite person. Who of course I am now ranting about again.

All of these people are like "oh lookit me, I am (or at least look) happy and am in my frilly dress and blah blah blah".

I know that if I have a frilly dress, I'm not going to hear the end of it. Even if somehow things get done without her around, she's going to be in the back of my head, nagging me about EVERYTHING, and I won't be as happy as I should be. And I won't say anything, because I won't want to bother anyone, because no one wants to be bothered. I won't want to vent to my brother, because he already vents to me, and it is just as stressful, and I don't want him to feel like he can't talk to me, because I know if he vents to anyone else, he'll most likely get the same brushoff that I did, and that helps nothing. They'll all say "oh it's alright, you can talk to us", and when you need to talk, or just want a shoulder, they're all gone. Or you've bothered them already, and of course, somehow it's all your fault, so why bother to try again?

For some reason, I'm really just tempted to cut her off.

I need something to do. Maybe a hobby. Maybe get back on topic, because here I was talking about all of these people and their pretty dresses and happy happy, and how I doubt I'd ever be that happy, or at least able to give off the impression of that happy, but then I think about Dave and how awesome he is, and that I shouldn't be concerned with other people's pictures and dresses, because I don't like their dresses anyway, or the people in their pictures, and I certainly don't like whoever it is they're with, because they can't hold a candle to Dave.
4 Comments.


I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I hope things get better or at least work out so that you're not bothered by her.

It bothers me a bit when I see all my friends posting about their upcoming or already happened weddings, but then I think about why Jacob and I aren't married yet. And it's as simple as we're just not ready. Which causes me to question, why I get bothered by other's talking about theirs. I want all the things that come with it: the pretty dress, food, gifts, attention, but not right now.

I hope things get better for you soon.
» LostSoul13 on 2011-06-13 04:03:28

ARE WE INVITED TO THE PARTY

WHAT ABOUT THE WEDDING
» undisputed on 2011-06-14 02:49:22

AWWWWWW
» Zanzibar on 2011-06-14 04:27:27

Dave is like the balm that soothes the aching iki.

Or the "chafing" iki (perhaps more accurate).

Is your mom actually that bad? Like actually crazy? Or just really really difficult? I do think people make all of these excuses for why they treat people they love poorly, and none of them hold water for me. "Sorry I freaked out at you... I was tired/stressed..." Ok, do either of those things sound like my fault? How about next time you are tired/stressed, you realize that we're supposed to love each other and to be civil to each other, and that the only person in control of your behavior is you!

» Zanzibar on 2011-06-14 04:32:02

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