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The more I stay here...
Thursday. 5.31.07 7:14 pm
The more I hate it.

I can't do SHIT in my own house without my grandpa bitching.


I take a shower, he bitches. Apparently there's some sort of leak into the yard. He accuses us of "running water".

What, we're not supposed to flush the damn toilet? Take a shower? Wash our hands?

I feed the cat. He bitches, he doesn't want another cat. NO ONE ASKED HIM TO TAKE CARE OF IT! It's here because my neighbors bitched at my dad's, and here's a better place for him to be. I understand he doesn't want plates all over the yard. Maybe if he weren't such a fucking asshole, I wouldn't have assumed that he was being an old bitch and throwing the plates out every day.

I drop something or knock something over. He bitches. This is why I've hated staying in my room for so long. I stay in it now, and just don't move around. I sit on the bed all day.

I do this. He bitches.

I do that. He bitches.

I put freezer food in the freezer. I leave plenty of space for whatever the hell it is he needs. He puts my stuff in the fridge, and it spoils.

I have a stereo that I almost never use, because ZOMG IT ARE LAUWD or other idiocy that might happen.

I get told, "oh, ignore him", or the best "respect him, because he's old".


I really should leave next weekend. Else I'm going to do something I regret.

If I stay at my dad's, I'll be miserable and bored. I'll get bitched at for god knows what that I didn't do.

If I stay at my moms, I'll be miserable and bored. I'll get bitched at for fucking being alive.

Somedays I wonder if I should just do something to myself so I don't have to be here... but then I realize that I'd get bitched at for that too.

I'm going to get bitched at over retarded shit no matter what. All I have to do is fucking look at someone the wrong way.

Most everyone has been telling me to get out, it's not a good place for me to be. It's never been a good place for me to be, and now that I've been away, I realize it.

Random people on forums: "You've totally reverted to the I-hate-myself-and-no-one-could-ever-love-me-or-find-me-attractive-or-want-anythi ng-to-do-with-me Ikima that you were before you met Dave and started to be happy with life.

Get out before you're full of depression and self-loathing again. "

People on NuTang.

Of course my family would bitch that "zomg you're never here stay and do all of our shit for us". Or "zomg it's sooo far away blahblahblah *whine*". Or "I don't see why you're leaving we're not that bad". It's all fucking bullshit. I have no reason to lie about any of them.

My grandmother was the same way. All she did was complain, complain, complain. If I said anything to defend myself from false allegations, I get accused of disrespecting her. I know she was on this Earth longer than me at the time, but it didn't give her the right to be rude.
» Southern on 2007-05-31 08:29:03

You's is worst than mine.. At least mine would be worrying the shit out of herself for something that is done everyday and say it out loud for about 10 minutes and repeat every half an hour. I think you should "run" now if you can.. before they drive you crazy.. And don't worry Iki, I don't mind you bitching around bout this here, I know someone who does that I-hate-myself-and-no-one-could-ever-love-me-or-find-me-attractive-or-want-anythi ng-to-do-with-me thing 100 times worst than you.
» Nuttz on 2007-06-01 12:16:10

Sorry bout the bad situation iki! I am not sure what I missed but why did you move? Did you move for the summer or because of the incident at your school? Either way, I understand that the situation right now is bad. But remember that it is only temporary. I think it is human nature for people to complain when they get old. Gosh I hope I dont get like that!!!

I hope things get better soon.
» kKaMa67 on 2007-06-01 12:21:28

Maybe it's just me since I have a weird view on family compared to others, but why not make an excuse the next time and not visit? If they are going to bitch either way then let them bitch, but at least you'll be doing something you want to and you won't have to put up with this crap.
» Katrina on 2007-06-01 09:54:22

I totally get where you're coming from. I always get that line! 'Ignore him/her' 'You know how he/she is' 'Respect his/her age'. Yeah, right. Like that makes it so much better. Hah!
» Silver-dot- on 2007-06-01 08:34:46

I will know, many thanks for an explanation.
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» Freddie ( on 2010-09-03 10:31:30



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