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ARGH.
Tuesday. 5.29.07 9:14 pm
I swear, every time I come home, I realize that it's just about the worst place I can be.

I'm always stressed, feeling like I'm going to do something to seriously injure myself, and it's just not a positive place.

I hate it here, I've always hated it here, even before I left for college.

I should leave. Then maybe I won't be so upset all the time.

I mean, try to be a nice person while I'm at home, I try to get along with everyone, and I always get shit for it.

Always.

I can't look at someone, lest I'm glaring at them or rolling my eyes. I can't talk, lest I'm getting "smart". I CAN'T FUCKING EAT, LEST I BECOME MORE OF A FUCKING WHALE.

I CAN'T USE THE GODDAMNED LIGHTS FOR FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES, BECAUSE IT'S DARK OUT AND I WANT TO JUMP ROPE IN THE GARAGE BECAUSE IT'S COOL AFTER DARK.

GOD. FUCKING. FORBID. THAT I WANT TO EXERCISE, NOT DIE OF FUCKING HEAT STROKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAMN DAY, AND NOT GET KIDNAPPED BY SOME LOONY AT NIGHT.



GOD FUCKING FORBID I FUCKING LIVE.

Sometimes being at home makes me wish I were dead.
3 Comments.


You really need to get out of that place. It's unhealthy for you. In the mean time, hang in there.
» Southern on 2007-05-30 12:23:58

I dig. The only thing I can say is that you have to take the best advantage that you can to use it to help you get to where you want emotionally, physically, whatever, you know? That's not gonna help the frustration ease off you, but once you finally get to a good place that you want to be, it'll make it much more sweeter to be free.
» DarkDragonKnight on 2007-05-30 02:09:07

we're here for you ... as best we possibly can be, at least. Do you know when you'll be able to get away from there?
» LostSoul13 on 2007-05-31 03:02:47

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