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is...


hikarixgaki
Age. 24
Gender. Female
Ethnicity.
Location , NJ
School. Boston Univ
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this is my site // disclaimer
P.S. The passwords to protected entries will always be "watermelon" as for 9/27/06. For all password protected entries before then, just ask me for it but most likely the password it "pleasedont".
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so now...
12/29/07 (saturday)
it's already the end of 2007. It's so weird, I like the number 7. I don't think I'll ever get used to curling around the 8 in 2008 when I write dates on stuff.

First off, I'm loving the guitar I got for Christmas. I still love playing the piano, but learning a new instrument is fun and exciting, albeit a bit frustrating as well. I didn't anticipate it hurting my fingers. But anything to achieve my goal of being super awesome and multi-instrumental, right?!

Let me think back. Last February/March, my friends all hated me. They won't admit it, but they all did. I was stressing over high school and the end of eighth grade as well as finishing The Book Thief before everyone else. Now, life is way more amazing. My friends don't hate me as much as they did before, I actually think that they're all over that stuff now. I've joined this super awesome youth group and I've met a bunch of new people there, and I think as it grows, I'll get to know them better.

But most of all, I've started high school. It's so weird, as far as I know, there's really no drama within the freshman class, which is kind of strange considering there's four hundred of us: there's bound to be some kind of huge drama that everyone knows about. But I was talking to my cousin, who say gossip flies and spreads like wildfire down where she goes to school. That's when I realized that PC is actually a pretty good school when it comes to the people and stuff.

I've met all these new people at school as well, and even though I didn't even want to go to PC in the first place, I've kind of settled into it and couldn't imagine life any other way. It's like when I started at STA - I sat in social studies and imagined what it would be like if I was still in SHS, and the weird part was, I couldn't even imagine it, no matter how much I hated STA and loved SHS. And I ended up loving STA as well, I made so many great friends there that I'm still keeping in touch with, which is really cool. I try to imagine myself at the Mount as well, and seeing who Caitlin hangs out with and the reputation they have, I don't think I would've fit in there at all, no matter how much I thought I could "grow" and "excel" there. Looking back at it, I'd still probably wanna give it a try, but really, the people matter just as much as the academics in high school. If you're the smartest person in your class but you have no friends, then is your high school experience all that great?

Also, I've realized that the majority of people don't have the extra stress of choosing a high school. Those sorts of major decisions don't happen until the end of high school for public school kids, I bet. Lucky bastards.

Anyway, I've made all these awesome friends at PC. Last (school) year, I would be so nervous to sit at my lunch table because I knew that everyone there really hated or felt sorry for me. I would have nobody to talk to at recess, and even if someone did, they just did it because they saw me all alone and I honestly don't really like that kind of company: pity. Now, I have a group of people that I actually look forward to hanging out with, stealing food from, just generally talking to.

Well, it hasn't always been good. At the beginning of the year, I would be so unhappy and clingy to Will because he was really the only person I knew and would hang out with, but he was busy making new friends as well. I would sit with him on the bus with all those friends he'd made, but I never really talked to them, and after a while they stopped noticing me and started inviting other people to sit in my seat, so I was stuck sitting by myself in random places, listening to my iPod and reflecting on "what a horrible life I had." I was stressing over how hard my sophomore classes were and had to get over how I wasn't the "smartest one" anymore. It's weird how so much had changed since then, over the span of a few months my life's become the best that it's been in a long while.

I'm still keeping in touch with my old friends. In fact, I just went out with some of them yesterday and gave them their Christmas presents, albeit a bit late. But at the same time, I have a bunch of awesome people that I feel comfortable around at school, and that makes me feel really warm and fuzzy inside, to tell you the truth.

What else? My sophomore classes aren't as hard anymore: I had a 100 average in geometry, where the teacher regularly tells us to "try harder" and how "eighth period seems to 'dumb down' the brain sometimes." (Though I did get a B on my last test - Overconfidence doesn't pay off, ever.) Spanish is still a bit tough though, I've gotta admit. But honestly, when will I ever have to know how to say 'canteen' in Spanish? Hell, I never say canteen in English. Whatever gets me ahead of the crowd, I guess.

There are only two things that I'd like to change about my life right now. For one, I'd have a boyfriend, but that's kind of weird to talk about. And I could actually go on without one, it's just the "what if's" that gnaw through my brain that compel me to think about them. Well, I guess it'd be easier to talk about it to strangers (I'd say complete strangers, but NuTang is a community, isn't it? =D) Secondly, I have to lose weight. I'll start with that! Okay, I'm assuming, actually, I'm hoping, that anyone who reads this has never met or seen me in real life. I'm a couple of pounds overweight, around forty, and my parents, or really, my mom, seem to love reminding me about it. This is a bit off-topic, but there's this sophomore at my school and, being the stalker that I am, I read some journal entires she posted on facebook and apparently, she has lost the same amount of weight that I need to lose, and she did it over the summer by walking and jogging regularly and dieting. The first thing I thought about that was that it was the perfect example that I needed to follow, and I'd seen her in school, she looks great (in a totally, non-homo way - is that a Jersey thing to say? 'No homo'?). Anyway, I've started to walk normally for about twenty to thirty minutes on the treadmill and I'll start to cut down on my food from now on. (I can't really do it now, since it's the holidays and all, and that's not being fair to anyone, now is it?)

So I guess I should mention something about getting a boyfriend now, since nobody I know reads this anyway! This'll all be a bit pointless since I've just mentioned that my self image is a bit low at the moment, but whatever, I like to preserve all of my thoughts so that I can look back on them later and be embarrassed at how stupid I was back them. Because, after all, I am pretty stupid, but I just don't realize it.

Now it'll get all OMGSOTHERE'STHISGUY, teenage "puppy" love-y dove-y, from here on. Hey, I'm fourteen. Anyway, there's this guy (omg!) in my history and gym classes that I kinda like. The thing is, I just never talk to him. We sit next to each other in history, but it's kind of hard to talk in that class. (If you sit in on one of our history teacher's classes, you'll understand.) In gym, he has a bunch of other friends that are my friends too, but it's a bit awkward in my opinion. Plus, there's the girl that sits behind him in history, and she's really cool and we're friends, but for a while I just thought that he liked her more than he would ever like me. And like I mentioned before, we have all these mutual friends, but the thing is, the majority of these friends are girls as well, so it'd be a bit strange for me to try and say something to him when he's out saying "Hi!" to every other girl in the class.
Now... hm... I liked this other guy in my geometry class, obviously he's a sophomore. The thing with him, though, is that he loves staying in shape and he's a beast at soccer and swimming, apparently. On paper, he sounds like he'd be this huge cool-ass jock guy, but he actually gives off the vibe of a huge weirdo. He stutters and gets all red in the face when he's asking the teacher a question. Maybe that's why I liked him! He had so much trouble figuring out that stuff when I, a lowly freshman, understood it easier than algebra! I think I'm just weird. In addition, he has a brother (and a sister, as the brother and sister are twins, which is way awesome in my opinion - though his sister is quite white, if you see her, you'll understand) that's my age that I guess I thought was cool as well, if only because I used to have a "crush" on his brother. He also loves soccer and swimming too, but the thing is, he's way cooler. He plays the guitar, he was even starting a band with a bunch of people, he has all these friends from soccer, just, everything. I don't know how I started that though... it's probably because of the brotherly connection. They're nothing alike though, besides the sports and parents and such.
I also used to like this other sophomore that sits in front of me in my Spanish class. I think that was purely based on looks, though. And when I found out that he also has a sister that's my age, that's actually in my homeroom, I just called that crush quits. His sister is annoying as hell, the kind of girl that says LOL to everything and thinks that making every other though perverted is "the shit." Honestly, being perverted for fun is fine, but laughing at every single minuscule thing that could be considered an innuendo is not cool. And she has this boyfriend, a junior that lives in North Carolina, no less, that I have no idea how she met, and I hope that they never do. See, she's much chubbier than I am, and if they really met online, as I think they did, then her "boyfriend" will be sorely disappointed when he sees this short, chubby girl that wants to hug him. Like any stereotypical "fat girl" on myspace, pretty much all of her pictures are of her face. I'M SORRY, I JUST HAD TO MENTION HOW WRONG THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS. I'm done with that!

And I think I should be done with this entry as well, as it is getting quite long.
2 Comments.


Yup
Life getting better within the span of two mongths tends to happen with high school, or maybe just moving up in general. Hopefully college will do the same for me, not that I'm already having the time of m life now, you just never know how much awesomer things can get :)

Ahh I remember my freshman year so well...it was a very interesting, drama-filled year. It seems like the higher up you get in high school the less and less people care about "what he said she said" sort of stuff. You seemed to have lucked out of the drama...but it will come. It's inevitable lol

My my, you certainly know how to write about your crushes
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-12-29 08:04:38

i'm just afraid of my age catching up with the years.... i'm vain bout age...
» renaye on 2007-12-30 12:22:15

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