Yes! I'm back. Computer is a-ok! But these past few days lots of things have happened. I dnt know if i can still comment on ur blogs guys and for this, i'm soo sorry. You've been so good to me, Nutangers. You understand what it's like to be "real". Lol seee i'm ranting now.. aaaahh cooffffeeeeee......not in the best of my moods these days.......

For one, 5 days ago, i fell in ♥ again with that guy (the "religious" guy) who i vowed i wouldn't fall in ♥ with coz he got a gf i THOUGHT HE LOVED UBER MUCH...

Then, there was this party where he and this other, I THOUGHT, FRIEND OF MINE got "close". And then as the days passed, i've been hearing rumors about them. But during these "rumor times", i was turned off by his gangsta talk/ wrong grammar lol (no offense for gangsta people here but HIS gangsta talk sucks lol ) SO i dissed him again. Aka FORCED myself not to like him again. Still. I dissed him in vain. Took lotsa courage and control on my part.

Oh well. Forget him. And just hours ago, my sis and another friend sort of said they FELT as if the guy was courting the girl. ! _{Which may i so evilly insert>} so far from me in terms of well... Love is BLIND. But gawd. Why her of all people!??! And she told her sis (who's close to me) that she just sees the guy as an "older brother".. yeah ryt.. but do u flirt with ur older brother???????? And does your "older brother" take you to your classes??????????

Anihoo stop insulting my so-called friend (since insulting her would get me nowhere)... i just want to point out that it's unfair to the other girl (his gf he left in our country who he promised to "marry" << yeah ryt.. i bet this just came from raging hormones!) It's unfair to the girl. Where is his PROMISE noW?

Whatever. I don't care anymore what the ending of this story will be. Not like i'm in ♥ with him again. Lol Good thing i can control my emotions even though i admit, these are actually the strongest emotions i've ever felt for someone...

I realized it isn't *love* (Eck!) though. I've decided that i know i'm in love with somebody if i would actually cry for somebody. And trust me, that's very rare for me to do. So if i cry for a guy, i know i am in <3 with him.... BUT!

These things aren't what's my priority as of now... although its affecting my moods and all, i hafta continue to be strong. :)

See, the group i'm hanging out with isn't very "group-y" anymore. _{(I'm not actually part of this group officially even though some think i'm part of it.. but anywei i dnt care if i'm part of their group or not. I'm not forcing myself on people who don't welcome me. Better off not part of their group since they're now a very "disturbed"/ problematic group)...} >> People are bitching about people behind their backs and smoking (ugh) has become a regular habit among the guys. Well, most of the guys. (The girls usually spray perfume when their around lol)

So i really don't know. *sigh*

i just wish i'm back home with my real true friends who accept me for who i am and not because i pay french fries for them.

if ur reading this, i lavv u guys. wish i was back home. WITHH ALL OF U. :(

Categories: depressed but surviving [t]

That thing called love seems to be very confusing.....
» randomjunk on 2006-11-08 09:32:41

Peer Pressure
Peer pressure is hard. You are right in the midst of it. Nothing lasts forever.
» kkama67 on 2006-11-08 11:58:39

Your life has too much drama.
» Dilated on 2006-11-09 12:44:37

Let's try be reasonable.
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» Philip (60.217.248.139) on 2010-09-02 06:03:46

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