Basic Crap. My LIFE!
Almost everyone has one bully in their life.
Mine...well, mine is my older sister. And it always has been.
It's called verbal abuse. I mean it's not like she tells me I'm worthless or anything. But the way she treats me is complete crap, a decent person wouldn't even treat their dog that way. She takes everything out on me. Yells at me. If I want to hug her I can't even do that. She yells at me for that. for anything, sometimes for talking to her. She is controlling, I can't even hold the dog THAT I TAKE CARE OF, without her trying to control me and telling me to leave the dog alone. Even if the dog is in ecstasy from my petting her. Sometimes she comes right out and says I just don't like the way your holding her. (even when I explain and she can clearly see the dog is fine!)It drives me up a WALL! In fact she is pretty mean to everyone.
But last night she blew up at me.
When whatever her problem is...was most specifically NOT my fault.
You see I called to explain that no one had gotten her anything for her birthday...(except me of course) and when would we celebrate...Monday right? (isn't that what we had all planned?)
And that my dear blog friends, is when she lost it and yelled at me.
ME.
The person who has reminded mom and dad for months now that her birthday is coming up, and what are they doing about it?
Till I was almost crazy.
They did nothing despite my warnings.
And of course it's me she screams at. The only person that tried. cared. did anything.
she might have wanted to make plans on Monday dad said Saturday...blah blah blah
she is always disappointed at her birthdays. so yes you see verbal abuse.
She does this a lot. It breaks my heart every freakin time.
If she had clue how much she hurt me...
She is always in a perpetual state of anger or meanness, it's like she has constant pms.
I mean i realize she is under stress and has all this crap and whatever... but gosh couldn't she find a more reasonable outlet than beating down the only people in this world who love her despite her constant abuse.
Like I don't know...
Cutting?
lol
not really. But honestly she should take some responsibility and find a take it out something not me. And she can't find a way to deal, then she should just take it out on herself because this is ridiculous.
Many times I almost don't forgive her, I know it will happen again. But she sobs. And while I could care less for the first few hours...

You know what,
I'm tired. I'm tired of talking about her and this and trying to make her understand and everything...It's not ever going to change...maybe one day it will be someone else instead of me...maybe her poor future husband.
And maybe you don't understand.
Heck I'm so tired and miserable...I don't understand.
I have faults and can be a crappy person, I just thought I was worth more than this.


Anyway lets move on to higher happier ground.

THERE's CAKE SOMEWHERE IN MY FUTURE.
if it was her birthday that means cake...which means...well cake...to be perfectly honest.

I finally managed to get myself together enough to give the dog a bath today! YAY!
She's all clean! HAPPY HAPPY!

I have a rather cool idea about what I want to make for dinner tomorrow. CHILI!

Bad News:
I realized I might have accidentally mixed up my morning and my night meds...
yeah. thats gonna be fun. not really...

Random News:
We (my mom and dad and I) have sorta begun plans for my graduation party!
WE are thinking June 12th.

Prom is coming and I am actually quite excited! I mean dinner, dancing, getting dressed up. I have a very cute and stylish little blue strapless! ( I said I want something long and with straps so of course silly me I fell in love with the opposite)

MY birthday is May 24th. No idea what's happening there...what should I ask for present-wise that is relatively cheap?

I am almost done this 800 some odd page epic fantasy book I am reading.

I got a book in the mail to review for the In Group.


yeah and that's...it for now! Thanks for listening peeps!

Comment! (4) | Recommend! | Categories: birthdays [t], abuse [t], life [t]

So the entire month of May has been completely crazy.
Completely.
Lets see...
I hung out with some friends.
I...celebrated my sister's b-day...(she did yell at me, it was mean, see below...lol)
I went to prom, 2 days later I celebrated my 19th birthday.( I didn't get much but oddly I pretty happy...) That night I got sick and it got worse (EARS NOSE THROAT) and missed most of Balticon (a scifi convention) but I managed to go a few hours and lets see, Then this month I started driving school this june 1st and then on the 3rd I graduated high school. Which I never actually went to. Yes you might wonder how that could be so let me explain. About 7 or 8 years ago I got very sick to the point that everyday life became to difficult and have been on home and hospital teaching through the county ever since. So In total I only went to the high school for my HSA's, The after prom party, like one or maybe two meetings, and yes graduation where I walked across stage in front of bunches of people who did not know me. lol BUT I MADE IT! It was a year later than it should have been if I were healthy because they didn't give me credits till it was too late to graduate in 09 but that's ok. I got 6 tickets to give to people to attend my graduation and my family and my tutor of the past 7 years and my sisters bf came. And yes my teacher danced around singing "MELLIE GRADUATED! MELLIE GRADUATED! I Didn't WASTE 7 Years OF MY LIFE!!!" It was pretty funny! I do love her.
Throughout my graduation process I heard people say things like:
First student: Do all these kids go here?
Second Student (says jokingly): No they just come here to graduate!
OR
Teacher: DID I TEACH ALL THESE STUDENTS?

My secrets thoughts: That would be me! and no you really didn't...

HA! But I did it, somehow I don't quite believe it...

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: prom [t], graduation [t], birthdays [t]