I see you in the distance and I see us as we are
So nearly so contented but a careless word too far
I see you in confusion for a once enchanted boy
My heart dances, oh oh, but not for joy

I longed to love you better but I swear I don't know how
You could have been my future but I had to have it now
The things we love completely we are fated to destroy
My heart dances, oh oh, but not for joy

It's easy to be certain that another's heart will fall
Much harder to be certain of your own
It moves you, and inspires you then it drives you to the wall
And leaves you so excited but alone

My heart dances, oh oh
My heart dances, oh oh
My heart dances, oh oh, but not for joy
But not for joy
But not for joy
But not for joy




Like a typhoon of emotions and raging like a fire my heart has been.
I know in what direction I'm heading but I don't know if I like it or if it's even the right choice! But it seems like that first step I took is permanent. How silly and tiny of a small step it seemed. One would not often think twice of it. Nothing but a short paragraph. Yet it's seemed to start a downward demise, one which I'm not sure will end well for me. Worst part of it is that I know these roads too well, all too well. I loathe them as I loathe the figure in my mirror. But what can I do? I cannot retrace my steps. I can't let it all go and forget it all. And as my silly concerns grow in such a small corner of my soul, my world around me darkens. My mom gets sicker. My kids hurt more. My debt keeps rising. Will this be my demise? I worry that such a small corner, my only corner, would of been my salvation at the end of it all, but it seems it'll be lost in the torrents of the storm, same as everything else.

my debts r also increasing and the other i broke down when thinking of money.... i really need to devise a plan to get out of urban poverty...

anyway the the high priests of war is a book of how the jews/ neo-conservatives in the US controls and dictate the administration and how they demand for the war of iraq and so on. a very refreshing but yet a very depressing book.
» renaye on 2008-12-11 08:48:16

Welcome
to christmastime despair.



:/
» invisible on 2008-12-16 09:01:06

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