Even as I found the clip and watched it, I couldn't sit well. I kept advancing it.


"I really don't think this is one of those wounds that heals over time."

She didn't agree. Ever the optimistic trooper.
At least she fights for something. Compared to what I've been doing.
Running "faster than truth and life itself". Running away.

...But not anymore.

It wasn't as bad as I feared, you know.
I figured people would say or think, "He just couldn't cut it. It was too difficult for him." Instead I heard, "I thought you dropped the class because it was far too simple for you." I laughed and said I wasn't like that and that I'd never think like that.

I'm fighting again. Slowly. Very slowly. I'm scared, though, still.
I'm scared about everything.

And I'm trying to fix things. I'm being honest. I've started being open with those I've been close mouthed with. I've yet to speak to my racist brother. I know I won't be able to knock any sense to him, but I can at least let him know that the mere fact that he thinks like that causes me to detest the fact that I share anything with him, especially a mother who deserves better. But, I will. All in due time.


Things have been odd to say the least. The kids are still as bold as ever. Only they're starting to understand more of who I am and what I'm there for. It's a good thing. Sometimes shocking to those who thought I was there to be a friend, and same goes for those on the opposite side of the spectrum. But it's for their best in the end. And they know it...


So, I guess things are turning for the better. Mostly because I had enough and I'm starting to alter those things myself.


But, at the end of the day, ...that wound is still there.

I know!
I had to reorder everything though because I forgot to put Disneyland in. I'm deleting the first ones right as I type this.
I have read Brave New World. And that's exactly what I thought of when I read that letter. I'm doing an assignment on eugenics and it really freaks me out.

Not running anymore? I'm happy for you.
Maybe it'll just take time for the wound to go away.
» sarah on 2007-04-13 10:00:09

I want to say something comforting and optimistic, but all I can think of is that maybe something even worse will happen and you'll forget this wound....
» randomjunk on 2007-04-13 10:29:16

I perhaps shall simply keep silent
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» Cory (60.217.248.81) on 2010-09-03 10:18:38

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