I woke up and looked at my clock.

1 IN THE AFTERNOON!?

I know I could sleep in but JEEZ. I didn't mean to sleep in that much...
Why couldn't I wake up?

Flashes of my dream come back to me.

There was a serial killer that I was trying to stop.
I was also busting someone out of some sort of prison.
Wait...
I slipped a note through her window to know it was me.
But also...
The note said...
"Marry me?"

It was her.


....So, I'm starting to understand why I'm having difficulties waking up. With dreams like this? Seriously? Of course I won't wake up. They're far more ideal and joyful than when I wake up. Also, I at least feel useful in my dreams.

Last night I had a mini-break down or something. I was cleaning my room. And I snapped. I needed out. I couldn't be at home much longer. So, I went for a walk.

But sure enough, Life had to follow me out walking, too.
There were some people on one side of the street and I wanted to avoid them so I got on the other side. I didn't know who they were, but usually, anyone out past midnight aren't out to enjoy the night air. But as I started walking past them, the guy who was talking to the other girl in the most ghetto form of the english language I've heard in a while, began walking up to me.
"Hey! Ain't you that guy that lives down the street and drives a Jeep?"
I stop walking, mostly because he crossed my path.
"Yeah..." I responded. Do my neighbors know me as the guy that drives the Jeep?
"And don't I know you?"
"Yeah." I knew who he was, but I usually don't like to forfeit that I know someone in case they don't remember me. It's safer that way.
"We were in art class together. My name's Chris."
We shook hands.
"Yeah, I remember you." I remember that he was this short little "wigger" that no one liked and made fun of. I remember people often wanted to fight him. I'd usually be the one stopping anything stupid from happening. I'd tell him little wise things about how not to start fights and all this other stuff. In a sense, I kept him out of trouble.
He asked me how I was. I told him that not much was going on and that I was "just working, pretty much." And he said that was cool and that he's getting his GED and whatnot. He then invited me to hang out with him and whoever his friends were. I said no thanks, that I was out to relieve some stress. He said that was cool and that he understood.
We said goodbye and parted ways.
I realized then why I hate bumping into people. It's not because I know them. It's not because they know me. It's not because I'm shy. It's not because I want to be some sort of recluse for the rest of my life.
I don't like to bump into people from my past because, in a way, I'm bumping into my old self. The person I used to be. And it makes me sad.

I then walked to Taco Bell, ordered some food, got a text from Moe, responded, and answered Kristina's (Helena) phone call. She said she couldn't hear me well because of the wind. So I walked to someplace where the wind would be blocked. The best and closest place was.. Brewer High School.
While I was there I ate my food and randomly... started to remember. I remembered everything up to what she already basically knew. From the very first day of school my freshman year, up until the middle of my sophmore year, when I began to date Nikki, became best friends with Robyn, and grew to be close friends with Moe and a few other theatre folks.

How things change huh?

After having that "episode", I walked back home and went to sleep.

And now I'm late and I need to go.
So bye.

Hmmm I know what you mean. I don't like remembering who I was in the past. It makes me very uncomfortable.
» LittleBrit on 2007-03-23 04:08:30

Eh. I don't like bumping into people I know from school but who aren't my friends, past or present.

It would be nice to live in dreams, eh?
» randomjunk on 2007-03-23 07:12:04

Re:Comment
WHAT? YOU DIDN'T LIKE GARDEN STATE? HOW CAN YOU NOT LIKE GARDEN STATE? IT WAS THE BEST MOVIE THAT CAME OUT THAT YEAR!!!!!11one YOU'RE A MORON.

</sarcasm>
» ranor on 2007-03-24 11:21:57

I'm waiting to get deathly ill before I sue.
» ikimashokie on 2007-03-25 10:52:10

I don't like bumping into people from my past too.. they remind me of the bad things.
» Nuttz on 2007-03-26 01:19:29

Being the Libra that you are... You are absolutely correct!!! That IS my story. I just really felt the words because of what happened last night. As you may know I have been pretty ill and lately I have been having a lot of problems with my back and knee. He has been so supportive and told me that he wants to take care of me for the rest of my life. He looked me right in the eyes when he said it.

You mean you have to walk around at midnight to hook up with old friends? ha ha.
» KkaMA67 on 2007-03-26 02:05:40

I can't believe that you're playing "Pepper". That was my favorite song in like... like... whenever that song came out... a freakin' LONG time ago. I taped it off the radio. Yeah, like with a CASSETTE TAPE.

Come on, how can you not want to make out with MOe, she's a total Hottie McHottersen.

Speaking of which, who is *she*? Come on, you can note me. ;)

By the way, I totally freaked out today. The people in my lab are constantly being negative and I am positive, and today I was overwhelmingly negative and I think they were really demoralized by it. Now they know how it feels!!! I finally just left work early to "get something" and fell asleep for like 4 hours.
» Zanzibar on 2007-03-27 12:56:11

I started cracking up when I read the " Its not because I know them, its because they know me," but it made sense. Not wanting to remember who we used to be... I went back about a year ago and killed a couple of my old journals just because I couldn't stand the person I used to be, so I get where you're coming from..
» Dilated on 2007-03-28 01:05:40

Just to inform everyone...
I'm noticing what everyone thinks I mean, and it's probably my fault for not clarifying,

but I love the person I used to be. That's why it's sad. It's heartbreaking for me to see who I've become.
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