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I am
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)
Enemy Guns; part deux
Monday. 1.15.07 2:16 am

.We talked. I handed him his stuff. He showed me some things on his computer.
Told him I had to go. I got to the door. It was then that I had my shot.

."Look, I know you don't want to talk about it, but I have to. You don't have to say a thing. All I'm asking for is for you to just listen. I'm sorry, I haven't talked to you. I had to give myself time to calm down, which I now have. I was upset because you've upset mom and there is NO ONE that I get more defensive about than mom. I know that I can't begin to place myself in the situation that you're in and now how you feel, so I cannot blame you for making the decisions that you make. However, all I ask is that you consider at least trying to work things out with my mom. Not just for her, or for me, or anyone else, but for you. I know what can happen if you bottle up emotions and thoughts. I'm not saying that you'd ever do what I did, but I'm certain that whatever your feeling and thinking WILL come out in one way or another. I just don't want to see more people get hurt because of something simple like talking things out. I love you and your still my brother. Whatever you need just let me know."

.I looked at him in the eyes, and decided against it. Everything that I had thought out. All of it. Out the window. I never told him all that I just wrote. I just said have a goodnight and that I hoped his family would arrive safely tomorrow. He wished me a goodnight, too, and commented on the cold weather. I smiled and said goodnight.
.I then drove to Taco Bell and got me a number 7, Oh yeah...

.I've warned people that this day would come. That the day that I would have the ability, the shot, the opportunity to give my advice, my warnings, my whatever, and I wouldn't take it. He may have listened. He may not have. But I'm happier for not doing so. I'm happier knowing that I conquered this anger I had. That I forgave him without ever having to say a thing. I'm also happier knowing that I could have given him a treasure that he could have cast aside, but instead kept to myself. Call it what you will, but I'm beyond tired of handing out "pearls of wisdom" (what little I do have), only for people to trade them in for rotting garbage.


.Speaking of,
I'm putting this to a vote. In light of some recent events, I've thought of posting an entry of my story. One that I often allude to in many entries involving a girl and some disastrous situations. It's long, but hey, if you're interested. And mind you, this is incredibly personal. In fact I may post it as private and anyone who is interested may request the password.
.All in favor, say AYE.
8 Comments.


Therapy
Talking things out or writing about them is very theraputic. I think you should do it. Password protect it and anyone that wants to read it can ask you for the password. How does that sound? Wait a min. I think that is what you said! ha ha. Then Yes, AYE agree!

School.. in response to my school post, I have done the online and also the two year route and fortunately I can say that school is not a problem for me. It use to be until I got into college. Sounds strange I am sure but I think I got a lot of discipline from my catholic school upbringing. The online classes require ALOT of discipline, even for me but I still got A's. My boys are not the same.. Sigh! Hence, the reason for the post... my therapy.
» kKaMa67 on 2007-01-15 03:23:22

One man's junk is another man's treasure... or in this case one man's rotting garbage is another man's pearls of wisdom I suppose.

Aye. I feel so nosy. :P
» randomjunk on 2007-01-15 03:34:49

Oh yeah, and in reply to your comment:

The song is coming from some URL I found somewhere... there's a code for using those somewhere in the Nutang hack page...
» randomjunk on 2007-01-15 03:47:12

you'll get your fun fix whenever you wander out and find yourself in Long Beach somehow. Bust a "lion, witch and the wardrobe" with like...your refrigerator or something. Walk in, and come out over here. LoL.
» PsychoEnigma on 2007-01-15 09:34:02

Re:comment
Actually, I don't know where it comes from. No one in my family seems to have rage issues... although my mom's side of the family seems to have a leaning towards mental illness...

As for holding back, I think you're right. It's something I'll have to learn to deal with constructively, though. All the while I'm holding back, I feel as though if I WERE to open my mouth, only hurtful, offensive, and ultimately defensive things would come out of my mouth. So I think the problem is larger than I first anticipated, but now that it is more articulated (thanks in large part to your observation), I can now begin to work on fixing that from the inside out. So thank you very much.

And when you do tell your story, I look forward to reading it.
» ranor on 2007-01-15 01:38:16

Aw, awesome you should post your story. I posted my story under writing - but only the first few chapters and they are incomplete and old anyway. lol.

Also! Since you said you love Elfen Lied and only saw a few episodes, I have no idea what your policy on downloading episodes of anime is, but I know an awesome site with direct downloads for Elfen Lied, meaning no torrents and really nice download speeds - http://realitylapse.com/videos/elfen-lied.php That is the link if you are interested. =) If you do not like downloading stuff, then I am sorry.
» Tifa on 2007-01-17 01:07:48

AYE.

I'm sorry I haven't been around, I've been on planes et cetera. Soon, though. Soon.
» sarah on 2007-01-17 02:20:51

AYE!!

Nice song, by the way.
» Zanzibar on 2007-01-19 08:38:49

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