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It's been awhile?

I've been working a lot lately for the past few years since I've moved to San Francisco.

I wonder if I'm stuck in a rut.

Is this adulthood? Wondering and worrying about your career constantly? I guess not all young adults are like this. I often get told it's "normal" like a twenties crisis. To not worry too much. I'll figure it out. I don't know though. At 25 I feel like I should be figured out by now. I should have a group of good friends, a nice apartment, and a nice life.

I have a couple good friends, a nice boyfriend but something is missing.

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Hiro is my fathers golf friend. Hiro is 85. He's a third generation Japanese American and lives in a trailer park with his girlfriend Mary Anne who is 89.

It's out of character for my father to have golf friends. He's pretty shy. I think Hiro reminds him a lot of his father. My dad always mentions, "If he was still alive, he'd be Hiro's age"

Hiro invited my dad to thanksgiving dinner with Mary Anne at a Japanese restaurant. I checked if the restaurant was open but it wasn't. We ended up going to a shady Chinese buffet place with sushi, turkey and watery mashed potatoes.

I'm not a picky eater. I don't mind sketchy buffets, I love em but I rarely go because I'm a glutton. I ate a lot of green beans and beef broccoli. Sweet sour soup and kung pao veggies. Mary Anne kept laughing at how much green beans I was eating. She'd sarcastically say, "thats my favorite food... green beans" and make a disgusted face. I told her not to worry that I'd eat them all for her and we laughed.

Mary Anne is a first generation German American. She was born in Chicago, went to secretary school and was a secretary most of her life. I thought of mad men when she said that. I'm dumb.

Hiro talked about his health issues and his friend/doctor who took care of him. His doctor paid off all of Hiro's wife's hospital bills. She passed away 30 years ago due to cancer. He sold his house after she passed and moved. He was reminded of her too much. I could tell he still loves her a lot.

To break the sadness Hiro told me 3 dumb blonde jokes. They were silly but I laughed at how happy he was after telling me the jokes. It was adorable.

After Hiro came back from a smoke break he and I got watered down ice cream from the buffet. He loves ice cream. A lot. He would stuff his freezer full of Popsicles, fudgesicles and ice creams for his daughters when they were kids. Mary Anne made a face at him and said he hasn't changed. Their freezer is stuffed with ice cream.

We talked about politics, scary Romney, fruits, farming, Golfing, JFK, Hurricane Katrina, Hurricane Sandy, Kanye West, everything and anything. I loved listening to him talk. He's full of life and is super sassy like Mary Anne.

My father paid for the dinner. Hiro got really annoyed and said, "I'm really pissed Ben, I will punch you if you pay again next time."

As we left, I helped Mary Anne out of the restaurant. She told me, "thank you for spending time with us. It's sad when it's a holiday and I have no family to spend time with. I'm the last of my family, my brother passed in September. I thought he would be the last to take care of everything but now its me. thankfully I have Hiro."

I told her I was glad I spent thanksgiving with her and hoped we could all meet again soon. We hugged and I helped her into her car. My father gave her a box of macarons my sister made and we waved bye to them. Hiro drove off like a speed racer, he drives so fast haha. I'm worried.

This was my favorite thanksgiving so far. Is that weird? Probably. I'm a weirdo.

Spending time with Hiro and Mary Anne made me happy. It's nice that my father spends time with them whenever they are free. I always knew how lucky I was to have a family but after hearing Mary Anne talk about her life, I realized it even more. I feel so cliche.

ps :

I don't care for thanksgiving. I think it's insensitive. To me it's a holiday that ignores the conquest, raping, and genocide of a race. I just... try to check myself and try not to ignore such issues. I also dont rub it into people faces like I used to in middle school. Ner ner ner why doo you celebrateee thanksgiving nerr.

I don't mind it too much because no sane person celebrates thanksgiving going, "woo we showed those injuns!!!!" I hope... It's just a holiday off work early, an excuse to eat a lot and spend time with loved ones... Or visit your parents who you rarely visit.

What bothers me most is the conditioning of children on thanksgiving.
In first grade, I had to choose between being an Indian girl with a feather headdress ( stereotyping ...cool) or a pilgrim girl. We had lunch and acted like we were a happy family of Indians and pilgrims. Sadly, it's still happening in elementary schools. It really messed with me in elementary school. Its done on purpose. It's like telling a kid Santa Claus exists then years later they find out that Santa Claus was an asshole and killed a bunch of people because of the idea of manifest destiny. I'm tired and not making sense anymore. I shall sleep.

Well goodnight blogdiary. I love you.

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