I didn't get in to any of the Governor's Schools I applied to. I cried all day and threatened to kill myself. It was sort of childish, but I was really upset. I think I diddn't get in because my GPA is only a 3.0... actually, a little bit lower than that, so I can understand why they wouldn't accept me next to a puclic school girl with the same talent who had a 3.7 or 4.0 or something. Of course, if I were at a public school, what would my GPA be? I'm guessing 3.8, 4.0... it isn't very fair. Nancy got in for humanities, but diddn't get in for theatre or music. I don't know about Emily yet. I'll feel alot better if she diddn't get in for theatre, because she's really good. I don't have any friends on this journal thing, and it makes me sad. I wonder if Milan got in for piano. I bet she did. Anyways, I'm leaving for college tours in New York and Boston at 5:15 tomorrow. That should be fun. Then I take the SAT next Saturday. Help!

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We're "researching" in Biology. I'm writing this post, so obviously not much researching is being done.

Rosiland Franklin's story, if exaggerated extravagantly, would make a great movie. She could have a secret affair with either Watson or Crick or that other guy, and there would be a great love scene in the lab, when she was refusing to give them her data. Oh yeah.

Anyways, just a short post to say hello. I ate lots of frozen yogurt today. Threw most of it up. I hate the binge/purge thing, but maybe it'll work and i'll get skinny. I'm told it almost never does help people loose weight. Oh well. Not much I can do about it now.

We're dancing in play practice again today, and more tomorrow. I love dancing. We're staging to opening. It's pretty difficult, with all kinds of different stuff....

Teachers back... time to study...

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I just got back from play practice. It was good. I got to sing my song ("Saved") and my half of another one ("Fools Fall In Love Reprise"). I hope i'm not hurting my voice too badly, because the belting in those songs is incredibly high. Dad's taking Lucas (my brother) and myself out to eat in a few minutes. That should be fun. Then I have to come back and type up my lab report for Biology. Then AP US history (APUSH) reading, English reading, and I might work on a monologue for Drama. We got our class rings on Monday, and mine is really big. I think i'm going to send off and get it resized.

Emily (another lead in the play) sounds so much better than me in "Fools Fall in Love Reprise"... Anna (a friend) came up to her afterwards and was like, "Oh my gosh, Emily you were so awesome..." then she looked at me and said, "um... you too Emma"... It was kind of funny, because it was very obvious she had only intended to say it to Emily. Oh well.

Anyways, I'm making Rasberry Tea to sooth my throat. Yummy. With honey.

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So I have a new blog. It feels nice. Roomy, kinda comfy. I'm Emma. I needed a place to vent. A place that not even my closest friends could know about. See, they don't really know everything about me. I'm not exactly normal. I'm an actress. I sing, I act, I attempt to dance. I have bipolar disorder. I have social anxiety disorder. I have symptoms but have not yet been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I'm bulimic. I go through binge/purge cycles almost every time I eat. I'm in a musical right now called "Smokey Joe's Cafe" at my highschool, which is a private, all-girls school in Tennessee. I weigh 140 pounds, which, to me, is incredibly obese. I am, at the moment, avoiding writing a lab report and reading for my classes. My parents are divorced, and my father is coming into town today because he has a court date tomorrow with my mother, whom I live with. I'm going to dinner with him and my younger brother this evening after practice for the musical. Lets see... things I hope to acomplish by this journal... I hope that I can make some new friends... get support, meet people a bit like me... So, thus concludes entry number 1. Woo-hoo.

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