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A lil too real?
Tuesday. 11.27.07 8:57 pm
As many know, Thanksgiving was last week. During our family reunion, my cousin officially announced her wedding for this summer.

I'm happy for her, it's really nice to see that she's finally settling down :)

I grew up with these cousins, and to see one of them getting married, is kinda scary though... I guess it really put "grown-up" that much closer, and that much more real.

For those that know me, I LOVE weddings. I love seeing the happy couple, I love seeing families together, I love seeing everyone all dressed up, and everything about it is just amazing. I guess it's cause there's a very fairy tale vibe to it.

But as I said earlier, this wedding brings "grown-up" closer.

I'm starting to get a lil freaked out about my own future. Mostly bout my love life. I'm starting to get scared about who I'll be with, if I'll ever be with anyone. Will my marriage end the same way as my parents? Do I want kids? All that stuff is a bit scary to think about right now. I know i shouldn't be, cause it's so far away, but hey, a few years can go by in a finger snap.

I want to have a wedding, I want to get married. That I know. But it's all the stuff that comes after that day that I'm fearing. All the stuff married couples have to think of. I guess also it's that whole KIDS issue. I... am not a big fan of children. I like some kids, but not a lot of them. I don't want to go through the whole child rearing thing cause I'm a pansy. But, I AM willing to adopt. That's my plan for future children. Though, I am so curious as to how a kid would look with my genes in it...

I guess I'm just thinking too much into it. I like being free...
And to be officially tied down by papers, is scary...
Eh... I guess in due time I'll be ready.

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