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Barren Illusion
"If the day and the night are such that you greet them with joy, and life emits a fragrance like flowers and sweet-scented herbs, is more elastic, more starry, more immortal- that is your success. All nature is your congratulation, and you have cause momentarily to bless yourself. The greatest gains and values are farthest from being appreciated. We easily come to doubt if they exist. We soon forget them. They are the highest reality. Perhaps the facts most astounding and most real are never communicated by man to man. The true harvest of my daily life is somewhat as intangible and indescribable as the tints of morning or evening. It is a little star-dust caught, a segment of the rainbow which I have clutched." - Henry David Thoreau
FEED MEH!
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Supercalifragilisticexpialidocius!
domingo, 1 de enero, 2006
Why English Is So Tough

Dearest creature in creation,
Study English pronunciation.
I will teach you in my verse
Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
Dies and diet, lord and word,
Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
(Mind the latter, how it's written.)
Now I surely will not plague you
With such words as plaque and ague.
But be careful how you speak:
Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;
Cloven, oven, how and low,
Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
Exiles, similes, and reviles;
Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
Solar, mica, war and far;
One, anemone, Balmoral,
Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
Blood and flood are not like food,
Nor is mould like should and would.
Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
Toward, to forward, to reward.
And your pronunciation's OK
When you correctly say croquet,
Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
And enamour rhyme with hammer.
River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
Doll and roll and some and home.
Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
Neither does devour with clangour.
Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,
Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
And then singer, ginger, linger,
Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,
Nor does fury sound like bury.
Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
Though the differences seem little,
We say actual but victual.
Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
Foeffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
Dull, bull, and George ate late.
Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
We say hallowed, but allowed,
People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
Mark the differences, moreover,
Between mover, cover, clover;
Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,
Chalice, but police and lice;
Camel, constable, unstable,
Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,
Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.
Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
Senator, spectator, mayor.
Tour, but our and succour, four.
Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
Sea, idea, Korea, area,
Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,
Dandelion and battalion.
Sally with ally, yea, ye,
Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
Say aver, but ever, fever,
Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
Heron, granary, canary.
Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.
Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.
Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
Ear, but earn and wear and tear
Do not rhyme with here but ere.
Seven is right, but so is even,
Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation -- think of Psyche!
Is a paling stout and spikey?
Won't it make you lose your wits,
Writing groats and saying grits?
It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
Islington and Isle of Wight,
Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough --
Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
Hiccough has the sound of cup.
My advice is to give up!!!

Eh, quit your whingeing. I think all that shit is awesome.
17:39

Comment! (4) | Recommend! (1) | Categories:

"I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!"
lunes, 2 de abril, 2007
<rant>What the fuck? English is not descriptive? Why don't you get back to me when you've figured out how to use a thesaurus and find out that "scenario" and "plot" are, in fact, similar to each other. To state that with such conviction you should be an expert, but you're not; you're still asking people for help. It's great, honestly: English is not your first language, but you speak it well. Yet using questionable "evidence" to prove your point doesn't make you an authority, it just makes look like you are spewing lazily-researched gobbledygook.

I hate spring. Fucking warmth, making me sweat, the harbinger of summer. I just want to wear layers again and sleep comfortably under the covers that keep my body heat from radiating into the atmosphere. I don't want to apply even more sunscreen everyday to prevent sun damage and freckles from forming. I don't want to wear summer clothing that will only become soaked in sweat if I move an inch. I don't want to smell other people's B.O. baking in the sun. I just want the cold breeze to freeze my face and numb my ears. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?!?!

The more I see my old avatar, the more I hate it, because it is not as awesome as my most current one, nor the first one, which is what it originally went back to the first time this hacking shite business took place. Maeby's just sitting there, mocking me, telling me it's not a race thing. (Yeah, whoever gets there first.)

Who the hell is the loser who keeps attacking NuTang? Is it someone who is upset they didn't receive an invite code despite their request(s) or something? If it's a power-trip thing, hacking a site, why not go all the way or target a prominent, more well-known site? Haha, way to go... you just messed up a relatively small community whose security defenses are most likely not comparable to the bigger sites -- you must feel like the winning adults on Are You Smarter than a Third Grader? or like Willy, the fully-grown, muscular Scotsman who captured a wee girl.</rant>

Zāijiān, bitches.
01:23

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Shut your sass-hole, boy!
viernes, 12 de octubre, 2007
A linguistics professor was lecturing to his English class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."

A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
20:13

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