Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
My quote:
Your Ecko Jeans - $65.Your G-Unit Shirt - $40.Your Airforce one's - $130.
Your Bling Bling - $250. Realizing you ain't black... Priceless







Google




















blah213
Age. 35
Gender. Male
Ethnicity. Asian
Location West Coast, Canada, Canada
School. Univ of British Columbia
» More info.
My Weather!
The WeatherPixie


March 2024

  S  M  T  W  T  F  S
                 1  2
  3  4  5  6  7  8  9
 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
 17 18 19 20 21 22 23
 24 25 26 27 28 29 30
 31
SENDME
Subscribe to this to blog if you would like to be emailed whenever it is updated.

Your email

Thanks to...
Blog Listings

Top100 Bloggers

Blogs


Weblog Directory
Humor Blogs - Blog Top Sites
Blogarama - The Blog Directory
Blog Directory & Search engine









Counter
BM Counter
Other Blogsites to check out!
My worthy opinions
Sunday. 11.12.06 11:46 pm
- Don't eat anything that's served to you from a window
unless you're a seagull.
People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of
Wendy's chili.

Hey, it cost less than a dollar.
What did you expect it to contain? Trout?


- Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with
their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better
description for these kids: lucky bastards.


- If you need to shave and you still collect baseball
cards, you're a dope. If you're a kid, the cards are keepsakes of
your idols. If you're a grown man, they're pictures of men.


- Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here's how much
men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we're done.


- There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a
whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that
watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want
flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That's
your flavored water.


- Stop screwing with old people. Target is
introducing a redesigned pill bottle that's square, with a bigger label.
And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to
open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just
solved the Social Security crisis.


- The more complicated the Starbucks order, the
bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf
grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino,
extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low, and one NutraSweet," ooh,
you're a huge asshole.


- I'm not the cashier! By the time I look up from
sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing "Enter," verifying the
amount, deciding, no, I don't want cash back, and pressing "Enter" again,
the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my
Almond Joy.


- Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in
it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass.
And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did
anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're
not spiritual. You're just high.


- Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the
seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the U.S. Open of Competitive
Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too
damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're
already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."


- I don't need a bigger mega M&Ms If I'm extra hungry
for M&Ms, I'll go nuts and eat two.


- If you're going to insist on making movies based on
crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the
Cineplex a remote so we can see what's playing on the other screens.
Let's remember the reason something was a television show in the first
place is that the idea wasn't good enough to be a movie.



- and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom
attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a
mint like I just had sex with George Cloony. I can't even tell if he's
supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want
to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.


- When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to
know in months. "27 Months." "He's two," will do just fine. He's not a
cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.


- If you ever hope to be a credible adult and want a
job that pays better than minimum wage, then for God's sake don't pierce
or tattoo every available piece of flesh. If so, then plan your future around
saying" Do you want fries with that?"

Comment! (11) | Recommend! (15) | Categories: , ,

How to piss off credit card companies and get away with it
Saturday. 11.11.06 3:39 pm
Here's a little secret that might piss off credit card companies and potentially get them to stop harassing you with upwards of 20 credit card applications per week. Some people have known this for years. For the slow: I'm saying that you're stupid and wouldn't come up with this idea on your own; pay attention.

There are two types of junk mail that everyone gets: coupons for stupid bullshit that you don't want, and credit card applications for credit to buy stupid bullshit that you don't need. Here's how to take care of all your junk mail in one fell swoop: use the postage-paid envelope that credit card companies send you with their applications to send them the OTHER junk mail you receive. It's just that simple. Imagine the frustration of credit card companies when they have to spend millions of dollars every year on first-class postage just to open up an envelope and find Pizza Hut coupons inside. The envelopes are intended to be used for "BUSINESS REPLY MAIL," and so use them for their intended purpose. You're sending them valuable money-saving coupons which could mean big savings to credit card companies, and it makes good business sense to use them. Consider it a reply to their business proposition with a business proposition of your own: 35 cents off a large, one-topping pizza. In fact, they should be thanking you for giving them these money-saving opportunities. Or how about sending them credit card applications from other credit card companies? Be creative.

Not only will you be pissing off the credit card companies by wasting their time and money (since they have to spend time opening all your mail), but you'll also be pissing off all the other companies that send you junk mail: Pizza Hut, McDonalds, Burger King, Papa John's and endless AT&T and AOL "free trial" offers (although I do admit that the free trial CDs make great coasters). This is of course only true if the credit card companies don't have the business sense to use your valuable coupons, and if they did then everyone would be happy.

So it's time to grow a pair and fight back. If you've ever been annoyed with their junk mail, send it back to them with some junk mail of your own. What can the credit card companies do? They only have two options:

1. Stop sending postage paid envelopes--unlikely since they know they'll lose a lot of applications if people are expected to pay for their own postage.

2. Stop harassing you with an endless flow of credit card applications.

They can't do anything about it because this is simply your way of telling them you're not interested, and giving them valuable coupons that could save them a lot of money, so spread the word: junk the junk.

I just love messing with big, multi-billionaire companies.

Comment! (5) | Recommend! (2) | Categories: , ,

Nasty Proverbs
Thursday. 12.14.06 5:15 pm
Passionate kiss like spider's web, soon lead to undoing of fly.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratches butt should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth.

War not determine who right, war determine who left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.

Man who farts in church sits in own pew.

Man who lay woman on ground get piece on earth.

Comment! (2) | Recommend! | Categories: ,

68 Best things to do at a department store...
Wednesday. 11.22.06 1:41 am
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
3.Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
4. Start playing Football; see how many people you can get to join in.
5. Run up to an employee (preferrebly a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!"
6. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department.
7. Try on bras over top of your clothes.
8. Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms
9. While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible "sex and candy"
10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens.
11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10".
12. Play with the automatic doors.
13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long!..." etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment.
14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this shit, anyway?"
15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department.
16. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually.
17. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!"
20. Put M&M's on layaway.
21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath.
23. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
24. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics.
25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "...I'm Batman. Come, Robin--to the Batcave!"
26. TP as much of the store as possible.
27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?"
30. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!"
31. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
32. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men.
33. Take bets on the battle described above.
34. Set up another battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. G.I. Janes. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!!)
35. While handling guns in the hunting department, suddenly ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. Act as spastic as possible.
36. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room.
37. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission:Impossible."
38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags.
39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
40. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them.
41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
42. Two words: "Marco Polo."
43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle,etc.
44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.
45. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels.
46. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them
47. While walking around alone, pretend someone is with you and get into a very serious conversation. Exp: The person is breaking up with you and you begin crying "How could you do this to me? I thought you loved me! I knew there was another girl, but I thought I had won. You kissed ME darling." Then act as though you are being beaten and fall onto the ground screaming and having convulsions.
48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"
49. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out.
50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
51. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie."
52. Go over to the shoe department and try on every pair of shoes, not putiing one pair back. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles.
53. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something,quickly make off with it without saying a word.
54. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department.
55. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
56. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles.
57. In the makeup department, spray yourself with every perfume there is, then walk up to a boy who is with another girl and start flirting with him in that annoying, ditsy way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)." When the boy shows no interest, start hitting on the girl the exact same way. "hi!!!! (giggle) What's your sign?(giggle)."
58. Hold indoor shopping cart races.
59. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
60.When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles.
61.Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
62.Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap.
63.Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time.
64. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?"
65. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerpleshere?"
66. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a "test drive."
67. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters.
68. Get boxes of Condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they don't realize it!

Comment! (6) | Recommend! (1) | Categories: ,

Public Apology
Thursday. 11.9.06 11:33 pm
To my contributing supporters, aka readers, I am sorry for the previous empty blog. Just ignore it, and nothing apocalyptic shall happen.

Comment! (3) | Recommend! | Categories:

Funny!
Tuesday. 12.12.06 1:01 am
Cyanide and Happiness, a daily webcomic
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Comment! (7) | Recommend! | Categories: ,

Page: 1 2
blah213's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.038seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content � Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.