Tuesday. 4.7.09 9:03 pm
Sometimes I wonder why I'm so biased against certain things in life. It sucks being such a staunch anti when it comes to even the simplest things. Why can't I just enjoy life for the sake of enjoying life?
Why am I so against recreational drugs, smoking, even drinking to a degree? What in my childhood affected me so much that I have such a negative perception of these things? I can't even look at a freaking hookah without considering the minute tobacco content involved.
I get so frustrated sometimes because all I want to do is enjoy life... and I believe that I do, 95% of the time. I make the most of each day to the best of my ability and I take time out to allow myself to take it all in without being overwhelmed. Yet there is always that nagging 5% that is such a negative nancy/debbie downer that whenever it rears its ugly head all I want to do is scream. It's torture.
I know for sure that I'm definitely too blessed to be stressed
, but sometimes - just sometimes - I amp out. I'm only human and I acknowledge this. Whatever, I'll get over it. Maybe I need to experience pot, or drop E, or experience a hookah firsthand to understand that it's not all that bad. But that's just not me. I should just hold my head up and be confident in my own life and accept me for me, as I have been, and stop being paranoid over the most minute of things.
Live and let live. I will not compare myself to others as it is not healthy.
Categories: personal thoughts [t]
parents influential is huge in making what we r now » jolenesiah
on 2009-04-08 03:59:04
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