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Depression
Monday. 5.7.07 2:41 am
Fuck depression. Its a stupid thing which takes up too much time. I start gettin depressed, and you think you can hide it but everyone else sees you acting different and that somethings up. then they all ask when theres nothing they can do about it so whats the purpose of asking?

so my normal answer is to just use the be 'bitter to everything' approach. which then people just assume youre an asshole but id rather have that than mope around and be all emo and whiny. my theory there is also if I hate everyone they won't make me pissed off. which was a good idea and worked ... in middle school.

Now I'm seeing that the best way to go is to just deal with it and keep truckin through. this morning for instance i woke up in a sad depressed emo mood. other incidents (mainly the crazy ass ideas that pop in my head which are completely unjustified) just made me even more depressed. as a result i was groggy and didnt want to come to work and had an overall shitty attitude. thank god im schizophrenic and my other half was saying "what the fuck is wrong with you?" i dunno how it works but my brain just shows me how dumb and whiny im being and i just deal with it. as a aresult my mood lightened greatly and i did phenomenal things today.

the problem is sadness, like anger becomes a comfort zone which is hard to break. fuck that. i HATE being depressed so i usually pick the anger route which normally feels TOO comfortable. man, i can keep a grudge forever. but im seeing that its not the way it works. not the way i want to be. it turns out its a little harder but so much more worth it to just bite the bullet and deal with shit than wine about it or act like your pissed and dont care. just my thought for the day.
Recommended by 1 Member
catatonicloki
2 Comments.


Well thats not nice, being angry just cause it feels good, just do stuff that makes you feel happy, like if i'm sad or angry I listen to my music, and it makes me happy. I think you need a boy/girl friend hang out with someone who makes you feel good. Thats what I have friends for when i'm sad they make me happy, don't have any get some there not that hard to find.
» catatonicloki on 2007-05-07 06:48:32

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» Manuel (219.80.4.150) on 2010-09-03 04:02:03

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