bcmst3000's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

so i feel almost like a new person. my usual hatred towards mankind has rekindled itself. it never really went away but it definately subsided for a little. i guess it was cuz i was too warried about other crap that i shouldnt have been. and as i slowly realized how trivial it was to worry about such stuff i started to say fuck it more and more. now i feel like im my own self again and it rocks. so now ive been tellin everyone fuck off, except my friends of course, and it feels so natural. its not that caring for someone and supporting someone out of love doesnt feel natural, i think i was just wastin it on someone that either didnt appreciate it (though it kept her alive more or less) or didnt make an effort to show it. but for now the best way i can be happy is enjoy my bitterness. like today for instance; i work all day and it sucks because its like idiots breed idiots and they all go to 5400 paxton street (my job) and try to plant more seeds of stupid. but its cool, its my job and its what i get paid to do so i do it with sometimes minimal bitching. but im pissed when i leave and i just want to go home and get some food, look at porn, maybe play some final fantasy, but no. i got this thing here thats been laying in my bed all day doing nothing and its like i want to puke. then that all accelerates my anger and what do i have to do. luckily tonite i can go paint and bitch at kris' and tomarrow nite is pool/chappelles show nite so ill be cool then. thursday i have a docs appointment but what about after that? i get to come home and be like fuck, and have o find somewhere else to go. damn im hungry,

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» Nolan (200.24.227.170) on 2010-09-03 05:57:16

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