21 October 2011 ...

My heart beat was drowning the background music. My eyes grew wide with fear.

I have listened to this song a thousand times. It's Vanessa Mae's Happy Valley. And I love this song. I was elated when this song is used for the Chinese dance! And... it's going to finish in a few seconds.

We were late by 2x8.

How can this be?! We were counting the steps correctly; we didn't miss a count or a step. So why do I feel we were extreme late? What if I were wrong and I will be screwing up the whole dance? Do I listen to my gut feeling or to my ego?

My heart screamed "I don't want to lose!"

I gave in to the amydala hijack. My hands quickly changed its fanning position and my legs took me running in small circles running out of the formation. The others were struck with confusion when I was running like a wandering butterfly... In a snap, the girl in front of me understood my action and she started running little circles. The rest followed sharply.

Steady ... steady... steady ...

This is the last line of the music...

Get ready...

My hands were frantically twisting the fans.

This is the last bar of the music ...

I looked around at the others... I could see the confusion painted all over their face.

Get ready... 3... 2... 1...

POSE!

Spinoff: I saved the day.

My hands refused to stop shaking. I inhaled uncontrollably to keep myself calm, and yet my lungs demanded for more. My eyes were ready to stream a few beads of tears, but I didn't permit that to happen.

We screw up the whole Chinese dance. What went wrong? Where went wrong?

The choreographer was watching us throughout the whole dance. He was true to his words: he would not indicate whether we make a mistake or not. What happened just now was a true test for the bunch of us.

What happen if we screwed up during our final performance? I bet he is thinking the ending would be horrible. No matter how simple and small this performance is, I realised I do not want to disappoint the choreographer for not meeting his expectation.

Be it my ego or gut feeling, they have saved the performance by allowing us to strike the last pose of the dance...

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