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Poptart Fun
Sunday. 8.29.04 12:56 pm
Ok, so it was lunch time, and i had a package of brown sugar poptarts with me. I guess I just haven't been in a poptart mood lately, so I oppted to get some stuff out of the vending machine instead. So I ended up getting some sunchips and a Big Kat Kit Kat bar. Anyways, After I was done, I still really didn't feel like eating the poptarts.

It's wierd... I haven't felt like eating poptarts in a while actually. Perhaps I have finally burnt myself out on them again... Every time I go for one... They just taste so dry and bland. No matter how hungry I am, I cannot seem to force myself to consume poptarts anymore.

Well that's fine right? I mean, I just won't buy anymore poptarts then. However, I still had the poptarts with me that I was supposed to eat... What should I do with them I wondered... It was a hard decision, but I was hard pressed to not let those poptarts go to waist.

I had already concluded, that it would be most worthwhile for me not to eat them. I mean think about it... I payed for those poptarts, so I should enjoy them. If they would cause me displeasure to eat them, then it would be more worth my money not to eat them. I look at it this way, I payed to enjoy something, if that something is going to bring me displeasure, then why eat them? I sure as hell am not going to pay for something to cause me displeasure, so I decided to just not eat them.

The question of what to do with them still remained. I held the innocent poptarts in the palm of my hand... such power... such control... Their fate was entirely in my hand. Infact, I could do anything to them that I desired... for they are mine, to do with as I so please.

Thoughts of destruction and absolute chaos ran through my head... The poptarts were helpless to persuade me... I was alone in the decision I would make. They had no control over their fate at all, and it only fueled my villanous thoughts. These poptarts would die a grousome death... I would see to it personaly.

As I held their helpless body in my hand, I realised what I must do. I decided to crush them with my shear might. I would show them no mercy, none at all. My fingers slowly wrapped around the package of poptarts... Their fate was sealed, I would not turn back now.

My grip on the poptarts slowly tightened. I like to think of it as a boa slowly constricting it's pray. I sqeezed the poptarts even tighter... The packaging split in multiple places, and their insides began to ooze out between my fingers. Finally, I was gripping the poptarts as hard as I could... It was all over for them...

The after math, they were completely mangled. The poptarts lay lifeless on the table... infact, they ceased to exhist as poptarts at all... Their remains were merely a mound of garbage waiting for me to dispose of them into the garbage can.

Overall, I found that this was far more entertaining than eating something that I really did not want to eat. Sure you could call it waistful... but was it really? I happen to think that the real waist would have been to eat them. Think about it, I had more fun crushing them than I would have eating them. Therefore, it is my belief that I got the most out of my money.

I am one crafty consumer
6 Comments.


I agree, crushing them was much more worth while. I mean I got enjoyment from you doing it too! I wouldn't have gotten entertainment just watching you eat them... You definatly used them to their greatest potential.
» AshleyEverhart on 2004-08-29 01:41:16


You should've just left a crumb for me. I crave poptarts now.
STUPID CRAVINGS! GO AWAY!
GO BACK!!! I have a laptop and I'm not afraid to use it!

» Ajibalaji89 on 2004-08-29 01:58:30


hmm..killing poptarts are very fun indeed! hehe, i haven't eaten one is soooo long. wow, well for your comment on my page, thanks for the sympathy, none of my teachers seem to care about that evilness in the school.
» Orli_My_Love on 2004-08-30 05:15:08

hmmm....
killing food... i should make that a hobby! j/k. I FINALLY HAVE POWER! Bcause of stupid hurricane Charley I havn't had power in 2 weeks, untill 2 days ago. and now the new caster is telling u in a week we will be hit by a category 5 hurricane. will the destruction ever end?
» Midnight on 2004-08-30 05:21:10


telling me* not u lol
» Midnight on 2004-08-30 05:21:47

ah, poptarts.
I never liked the fruit kind.. just too much artificial-ness for me.

I would have delightedly crushed them, then thrown them at a passer-by as sneakily as possible. that would be a lot more fun.

but doing the first would be better for the environment anyways. there would be too much angered frustration if the latter was done.
» invisible on 2004-08-30 09:28:22

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