So tomorrow is my birthday. It starts in about 23 minutes. So to celebrate, today after work I went to the MaaAaaaLLLLLL!!11one. I just got a parking ticket so I was feeling sassy towards the police. I paid and mailed the ticket immediately then I went home and got one of my IBC root beers and brought it into my car. I proceeded to take big swigs out of the bottle when I was stopped at lights. I DARE YOU TO PULL ME OVER, PROVIDENCE POLICE SONS OF MARACAS! Today was the first warm day in as long as I can remember, so I rolled down the windows and blasted the "Riding Dirty" and "Boston" by those people who start with an A, also the Avril Lavigne "Girlfriend"or whatever its called, which is just too damn catchy, (youknowwhatimsayin?) and took swigs of the rootbeer, and rode dirty.
Upon arriving at the mall, I stumbled out of my car and threw my rootbeer away (yes, I threw it away, I didn't not recycle it! HAHAHA!) right in front of a group of preteens with their moms at the mall. That's right, you just saw me get out of my car and throw away an empty brown glass bottle, thas right, whatcha gonna say? You gonna step to this? Steppin? Are ya? No? That's what I thought. I had to drink the whole rootbeer very quickly because when you go shopping for new clothes it's important to look at fat as possible, and drinking an entire soda immediately beforehand usually does the trick. (d'oh!)



So I went over to the Macy's because they were giving away Clinique gifts and I thought, I should buy something and get one of those gifts, oh yeah. So the girl comes to help me and I'm like, "Why hello. I would like to buy something." and she's like, "What?" and I'm like, "oh. I didn't think of that part."

So I decided that I was going to buy foundation, but I said I didn't want it to be "obvious". She had to get something so I sat down on the little chair. A few minutes passed and I gazed into the ordinary mirror on the counter.

WHAT! WHO WAS THAT CREATURE FROM HELL THAT LOOKED BACK AT ME!

ALAck! BLACK circles! under my eyes! spots! uneven skin tone! Around my left eye was all red from where I'd just rubbed it. How did they even let me out of the house looking like that? MaKE-UP! I NEED MAKEUP! Sell me gallons of MAKEUP IMMEDIATELY!!! So I bought some. And not only did I get a free gift, I got a free bag, too. But the bag was lame. And I realized later that if I'd spent like $1.50 more I would have gotten this free 3-in-1 washing crap and that bitch didn't even tell me that. Macy's bitch!

I went into the Aeropostale. Oh, gee, hm, in these mirrors my face looked normal. I mean, fine... I mean, not like a zombie, or that picture that Ranor once took me where he changed the contrast until I looked like a rotting corpse. Yeah. You remember ranor. That picture is exactly how I did not look in the mirror in the Aeropostale. So maybe a cosmetic mirror is not an ordinary mirror at all, but a portal into another dimension where an alternate version of you looks back at you through the glass but the alternate you has been dead for six months.

At the Aeropostale I got some sweet deals and then as I was cashing out the guy at the register was making with the small talk. He has three hours left of work, he's so tired... some other worker comes up and asks, "Do we have these in a size 9?" and he says he doesn't think so but if he can wait a minute he can check in the back." There aren't any in the back, he confides to me, but it's just an excuse so he can go in the back and drink.

Go in the back and drink, eh? I cock my eyebrow. "And make the three hours go by more quickly?" I say.

He gets my meaning, and then his, in that order, and, shocked (and probably like 17), he says, "Oh no! I mean water! I'm going to drink some water... nothing like, stronger than that."

Sure. Sure. I know how they be doing down at the aeropostale.

Time to go to what has always been my favorite store in the mall: hot topics. I made sure I didn't have any embarrassing bags... once I went into hot topics with an abercrombie bag... that was terrible, that's like showing everyone that you are not only a goth poser but that you are a preppy poser trying to pose as a goth poser which is like the biggest sin that exists. Luckily I only had the macy's and the pacsun at that time so I'm ok. Surfer posers who go to stores for surfer posers... I mean, an east coast store posing as a branch of a California-themed store that caters to people posing as surfers. (And like taking a photocopy of a photocopy, the Pacsuns east of the Mississippi just ain't the same.) But all the same, a poser posing as a surfer poser is way preferable to someone posing as an east coast Abercrombie prep poser, or the west coast Hollister version, which I won't even get into. Pacsun at least provides poser-gear that is the slightest bit alternative, which hot topics can appreciate. Hollister is my second favorite store in the mall, by the way- I never buy anything there but I just love venturing into its murky interior. And seeing some random old guy sitting in the beach chairs out front, and first you think he's part of a hollister ad, and then you're like, "dude, that guy looks like somebody's DAD." And he is.
Today hot topics was selling old-skool ninja turtles wear, which was SO AWESOME. Remember how the ninja turtles used to look nice and friendly, and like they were friends to the people of New York City, rather than dirty, evil creatures of darkness with white slits for eyes? Yeah, those were the days.

The day ended with some sweeeet deals from aeropostale, pacsun, and Old Navy (especially Old Navy), and then the exact same string of songs came on as when I was on my way to the mall, so I rocked out to "Boston"
"I'M TIRED OF THE SUNSET, I THINK I NEED A SUNRISE," I sang, and there Avril Lavigne once more, in what shall be known as her "turn-of-the-century-Hilary-Duffesque" artistic period.
happy birthday to me already! :D goodnight.

it sounds like you had quite a day. Much better than mine at least. Happy early b-day!
» LostSoul13 on 2007-04-21 12:51:22

Happy Birthday Z!
» elessar257 on 2007-04-21 12:51:26

Happy Birthday =)
» Haiyu on 2007-04-21 04:21:37

Happy Birthday!!
This makes you what? A Taurus? Hmmm...
Well, it sounds like you treated yourself to a lovely day. You really did shop at some of the best stores. And the whole bit about posers...I know exactly what you mean AND it was quite funny.

Hope it was lovely.
^_^
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