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So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.


The Profile


Zanzibar
Age. 39
Gender. Female
Ethnicity. that of my father and his father before him
Location Altadena, CA
School. Other
» More info.
The World









The Link To Zanzibar's Past
This is my page in the beloved art community that my sister got me into:

Samarinda

Extra points for people who know what Samarinda is.
The Phases of the Moon Module
CURRENT MOON
Croc Hunter/Combat Wombat
My hero(s)
Only My Favorite Baseball Player EVER


Aw, Larry Walker, how I loved thee.
The Schedule
M: Science and Exploration
T: Cook a nice dinner
W: PARKOUR!
Th: Parties, movies, dinners
F: Picnics, the Louvre
S: Read books, go for walks, PARKOUR
Su: Philosophy, Religion
The Reading List
This list starts Summer 2006
A Crocodile on the Sandbank
Looking Backwards
Wild Swans
Exodus
1984
Tales of the Alhambra (in progress)
Dark Lord of Derkholm
Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?
The Lost Years of Merlin
Harry Potter a l'ecole des sorciers (in progress)
Atlas Shrugged (in progress)
Uglies
Pretties
Specials
A Long Way Gone (story of a boy soldier in Sierra Leone- met the author! w00t!)
The Eye of the World: Book One of the Wheel of Time
From Magma to Tephra (in progress)
Lady Chatterley's Lover
Harry Potter 7
The No. 1 Lady's Detective Agency
Introduction to Planetary Volcanism
A Child Called "It"
Pompeii
Is Multi-Culturalism Bad for Women?
Americans in Southeast Asia: Roots of Commitment (in progress)
What's So Great About Christianity?
Aeolian Geomorphology
Aeolian Dust and Dust Deposits
The City of Ember
The People of Sparks
Cube Route
When I was in Cuba, I was a German Shepard
Bound
The Golden Compass
Clan of the Cave Bear
The 9/11 Commission Report (2nd time through, graphic novel format this time, ip)
The Incredible Shrinking Man
Twilight
Eclipse
New Moon
Breaking Dawn
Armageddon's Children
The Elves of Cintra
The Gypsy Morph
Animorphs #23: The Pretender
Animorphs #25: The Extreme
Animorphs #26: The Attack
Crucial Conversations
A Journey to the Center of the Earth
A Great and Terrible Beauty
The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian
Dandelion Wine
To Sir, With Love
London Calling
Watership Down
The Invisible
Alice in Wonderland
Through the Looking Glass
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
The Host
The Hunger Games
Catching Fire
Shadows and Strongholds
The Jungle Book
Beatrice and Virgil
Infidel
Neuromancer
The Help
Flip
Zion Andrews
The Unit
Princess
Quantum Brain
The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks
No One Ever Told Us We Were Defeated
Delirium
Memento Nora
Robopocalypse
The Name of the Wind
The Terror
Sister
Tao Te Ching
What Paul Meant
Lao Tzu and Taoism
Libyan Sands
Sand and Sandstones
Lost Christianites: The Battles for Scripture and the Faiths We Never Knew
The Science of God
Calculating God
Great Contemporaries, by Winston Churchill
City of Bones
Around the World in 80 Days, by Jules Verne
Divergent
Stranger in a Strange Land
The Old Man and the Sea
Flowers for Algernon
Au Bonheur des Ogres
The Martian
The Road to Serfdom
De La Terre � la Lune (ip)
In the Light of What We Know
Devil in the White City
2312
The First Fifteen Lives of Harry August
Red Mars
How to Be a Good Wife
A Mote in God's Eye
A Gentleman in Russia
The Fatal Conceit: The Errors of Socialism
Seneca: Letters from a Stoic
The Juanes Module


Juanes just needed his own mod. Who can disagree.
Lonely
Saturday. 3.3.07 7:30 pm
Once upon a time, I was talking to my friend and he told me that he was lonely. Lonely. I didn’t like where the conversation was going, so I retorted in a blasé manner that I didn’t know what loneliness felt like. It was not so far away from being true, really. I’m someone who is very happy in my own company, I’m hardly ever bored- if I have a pencil and a piece of paper I could amuse myself for hours… even a piece of string or a coin could keep me amused for a really long time. So I’ve often felt like loneliness is merely an outgrowth of boredom, a sub-category of boredom, in effect, assigned to those people who become instantly bored when they are not with other people. Then there is that loneliness that one feels in a crowd of people- I usually assign that type to “being emo”, because the end result is that I slip away into the night and wander around for hours by myself. I don’t think a feeling called loneliness could be attributed to a mood that leads to this end, though perhaps I am mistaking myself.

But then sometimes, there is this feeling, the kind of feeling that comes when a person is alone in a room, the feeling that is imparted when the scene is suddenly silent but for the thwap-thwap-thwap of the blades of the ceiling fan, when the camera angle is from the uppermost corner of the room- an unexpected fermata of place right before the change in scene.
There is this feeling that the world is too quiet, that the room is too large, that the combination of dark blue bowl, bold green soup, clear glass and bright orange juice on a table of woodland brown is colored too deeply for just one person to appreciate.
And your body, which has always consisted of finite ends, interacting with the world as a chemist works through his gloves in a sterile hood, suddenly feels like there is some part of it that is missing.

It feels like for years you have been seeing sunlight through the television, and for the first time you realize that if you go out into it, it bathes your skin with warmth. Now you cannot go back, because the sensation has made a hollow that televised sunshine cannot fill.

So maybe that’s what loneliness feels like.
5 Comments.


Normally I just describe loneliness as an intense feeling of emptiness everywhere, but your view of it is a lot better than mine. :P
» randomjunk on 2007-03-03 08:46:42

heh
i've been feeling lonely lately. i need a gal. no good ones at my school though. (at least, that i know of.)
» middaymoon on 2007-03-03 10:57:04

I think the television sunshine you're describing is just gas.
» Dilated on 2007-03-04 01:21:11

Wait, no... thats loneliness, you're right.
» Dilated on 2007-03-04 01:21:36

Aww... Zanzibar, I.. .I can't explain-- Where did we lose our way? Girl, its driving me insane! And I know I just need one more chance TO PROVE MY LOVE TO YOOOOU! IF YOU COME BACK TO ME, ZANZI I GUARANTEE THAT I'LL --

I mean.. um.... I like them too.
» Dilated on 2007-03-04 01:34:51

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