It's like I'm broadcasting all my thoughts on some weird TAFKAM radio. At one point, I started really missing him to the point where I was actually saying those words (I do not say that I miss people), and somehow, only a couple of days later, without having to say anything, I got a text from him and we got to see each other. Then, I start to worry that being involved is going to derail our friendship completely, and only a day after admitting those fears to myself, he pops up just to chat as friends.

Ugh. It's hard to be content with regular friends when there exist these super friends who respond to my needs before I even know I have needs.

He would hate it, but I could gush forever about how cool he's been lately. There would be eye-rolling. There would be dramatic sighing. There would be unpleasant face-touching to try to stop me from talking. At some point, even, there would be a super macho explanation of why I am wrong, and this would occur only after regarding me with a very condescending use of my name that makes me roll my eyes (but still smile. Out of burning anger). It would be an ordeal. The sighing period alone can last several hours.

To avoid the awkward and persistent wrath of the giant chimichanga, I'll leave it at this: Things are frighteningly content, and it makes me nervous.

It's really hard to say you miss people. I feel like I only started doing it because I want to let people know I care about them in case they leave my life forever.
» randomjunk on 2014-04-18 03:54:45

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