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an ode to getting better
Friday. 9.6.13 12:17 pm
I decide friendship might be okay and send the stupid text asking him to get food and be friendly. He's a huge butthead and makes me feel silly for asking him, which keeps me up, half the night, brooding and saying all sorts of angry things to him, in my mind.

It isn't until after he texts me, the next day, expressing a hesitation birthed in the nervousness of this new situation, that I realize he was lashing out because of his anxiety.


...Me too. Seriously. I'm freaked out. I'm constantly halfway between wanting to talk to him about Led Zeppelin and calling the whole thing off. It makes no sense, because we were so inexplicably close, before--and there's still a weird sort of connection that I can't define, hesitantly drifting in the airspace--but we're undefined, and things need to be...defined. I need a friendship, not an occasional tornado.

Other friends get frustrated because we won't just separate, but sometimes...it isn't that easy. There are certain people who will hold very particular positions in your life, and for me...he's in a very particular position. We've talked every year for three years on Christmas morning, you know? I lend him the books that mean something to me without any trepidation that he won't appreciate them enough. He's an emotional trust fall, but he's important.

Just...both of us have to keep our bodies straight and trust the arms below.
1 Comments.


He ruined one of my favorite books. But then he bought me a better copy sooooo
» middaymoon on 2013-09-07 10:36:01

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