Home | Join! | Help | Browse | Forums | NuWorld | NWF | PoPo   
















"i feel ancient."
Sunday. 4.25.10 1:47 am

So, the birthday. It was Friday. Dix-huit (but not "at last," like people seem to say).

It started out really strangely. I'm not even sure what to SAY about how it started. I ended up talking to one person I haven't REALLY spoken to in a long time (my friend Manal), and then a mystery person...? It was weird; I instantly felt more serene, afterwards, as though talking to these two brought me back to a balance. And I feel strange in saying that talking to Manal felt more foreign. I guess I've always been one of those people more regulated to the unknown.

That was essentially the best part of my entire birthday, other than seeing Kierra and being able to have her sleep over. I regret to say that almost every other aspect of the day was downright stressful and painful to manage. Somehow, I just felt very tense around the people I choose to spend my time with.

Maybe sometimes I make bad decisions in that area of my life.

Or maybe my positive thinking has just flown out the window? Maybe I've let all the aspects of my past get to me, too much.


Or maybe it's just been a bad week.
Maybe, maybe.

In some areas, I'm still a kid. I sometimes forget to take responsibility for myself. I make a lot of stupid mistakes that I shouldn't. And even though adults do, too, it's the types of mistakes they wouldn't make that I do.

At the same time, they make quite a few that I wouldn't.

The rest of me feels like an adult, though. All the layers upon layers of things that I let hold me back? That seems like something that would define my mother's life, not mine. They say I look just like her, and that's fine. She's older than she looks by far, and I could only hope to look so young when I'm her age. But the moment I begin to hold her emotional weight, I stop being okay with the resemblance.

The world's just been turning under my feet for what feels like so long, and I still (probably) have decades to go. The rest of life shouldn't bog me down so much, though. I hear college is much better. And then real life comes along. "Real life."

Yeah? Who's actually living it. I worry about that with myself--whether I'll die standing or live on my knees (in the purest sense of the phrase, excuse you ;D), so to speak.

Anyway.

I slept all day, today. From 12:40am to 8:45am, then from 10:50am to 3:23pm, then from 4:30pm to 6:00pm, then from 7:30pm to 10:30pm, and now I must say, I'm about ready to sleep again at 2:12am.

Totally unproductive day? Dunno. It seems to me that sleep is a lot like gasoline. If you need to fill up the tank and have the time, just go to a gas station, already! It's better than running until your car is sputtering to a stop.

Just like that, if you need the sleep, get the sleep. Necessary measures.
6 Comments.


happy birthday!! The future is full of possibilities to do whatever you want!!!
» Zanzibar on 2010-04-25 11:01:16

i wish i followed that sleep advice. i'm always tired, but i usually just deal with it.
» thaitanic on 2010-04-26 08:39:55

I agree about the sleep.
It may just be one of my favorite things about ....everything.
» invisible on 2010-04-26 07:38:26

Happy Birthday (belated)!

I had like 50 things I wanted to say as I read your blog but I saved my responses until the end and then forgot them. lol
» lyndeep on 2010-04-26 08:34:30

well .... though i'm older now yet i still make poor decisions sometimes....

happy belated birthday.
» renaye on 2010-04-27 08:04:38

Happy Belated Birthday!!
I hope you had a good one :P ...
Being a kid at heart ftw.
» Mockiller on 2010-04-28 01:19:45

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.

Unicornasaurus's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

NuTang is the first web site to implement PPGY Technology. This page was generated in 0.249seconds.

  Send to a friend on AIM | Set as Homepage | Bookmark Home | NuTang Collage | Terms of Service & Privacy Policy | Link to Us | Monthly Top 10s
All content � Copyright 2003-2047 NuTang.com and respective members. Contact us at NuTang[AT]gmail.com.