Wednesday. 8.24.11 2:02 am
Driving back from Seattle at 1-something AM is so theraputic and gives me the best feeling. I feel free. Going through Capitol Hill, across Lake Washington, listening to the a late-night radio program (LoveLine on 107.7, great show) after having enjoyed some beers with friends. It's liberating.
Tonight is special though.
I've always had a thing for the night. I love the day, the sun, and the sunset...but the night is when I feel the closest to the heart of the universe. The world grows quiet, peaceful, and the universe reveals itself.
Tonight there is not a cloud in sight, and all I can see are stars. I got out of my car and looked up...and just kept looking.
I walked further up the hill to where it was completely dark, and laid down on the sidewalk. The view was beautiful, and so vast. There was the universe, spread in all directions, like someone had just thrown a blanket over the world to help it sleep. At times it felt like it was a blanket that I could just reach up and touch, and other times it was like the world went on forever.
I found this little star in between all the other ones, and it made me smile. It felt like my star, for some reason. I think it was because no one else in the world was staring at it, so small and tucked away into the night. No on else in the world knows my star exists, except for you guys of course :) I'm sure some astronomer found it and gave it a name...but they never saw it like I did. They never found it like I did...so it's my star. I don't know if I'll ever see it again, but if I do, it'll probably make me feel the same way. I thought about this little star, and how it deceived me. What seemed to be a tiny pinprick against the dark backdrop of space was actually a raging ball of energy that completely defied my comprehension of what could and couldn't exist in this world. But there it was, a little dot of light thousands, maybe millions of light years away, and it made me smile.
I had become completely immersed in the magic that was unfolding above my head when I was interrupted by a very human problem...I had to pee.
I went inside and sat down on my computer (after relieving myself, of course). I knew I was going to have to blog about this. Some of your names flashed through my head, because I hoped I could impart a fraction of what I felt. But I just couldn't get away from the sky...so I went back outside. I found my star again, and it made me smile :)
All of this put me back in touch with what I'd been looking for. It had felt like something was missing for a while, like I was just sort of wandering through life without really paying it much attention. It made me suddenly appreciate, and wonder, and feel totally small and totally human. But most importantly...it made just made me FEEL.
I -- WE --all have to live for those moments. The night sky isn't something you see...it's something you experience. How can you capture an experience? But if you could, would you want to? Life is all about living for those moments and finding new ones.
Drag yourself a quarter of a million miles away from your problems and struggles...and see what you find. I hope it's a moment that you'll want to live for over, and over.
Do not try to bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead, try to realize the truth. There is no spoon. Then you will see that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself.
beautiful beautiful beautiful my dear friend Muffy. Inspired writing. :] I feel the same way about darkness. I especially love the image of someone throwing a starry blanket over the world to watch it sleep. Lovely.
oh and the song isn't how I feel now, but it recalled some very strong memories from a long time ago. Before Sharkboy, because Sharkboy wouldn't ever make me feel like that unless I was the one who monumentally screwed it up somehow. :P
» Zanzibar on 2011-08-24 09:47:04
I'm surprised you were able to find the exact same star again.
» randomjunk on 2011-08-24 04:25:19
I haven't been able to see much of them these days, probably because I live in one of the most heavily populated cities in my country and all that light pollution. I think what you feel is how I feel when driving in the middle of the night and sometimes in the heaviest rain. Lol! Dangerous but I know I'll be fine and it seems like I own the road.
» Nuttz on 2011-08-24 07:23:30
that is what i called reflection on life.
RYC: I never had a cat!
» renaye on 2011-08-24 11:46:38
» middaymoon on 2011-08-24 11:50:34
I lol'd at your "human problem" XD
and i swear other ppl make these faces too!!!! i prob copied it from someone or other at one point :3
oh i see... loul wth... i'm getting behind on technology? but then again, i don't really want to try out all this new stuff that sometimes seems dodgy.
do let me know when there will be a nutang-wide skype session!! that'd be so cool ahahaha XD
» Kuri on 2011-08-25 08:47:38
If it's just a lately thing
then it's probably not anything like that. I've always had trouble paying attention to things, but it's never been much a problem until college.
He's not a jerk, he's just a downer sometimes. He's a good guy. No need to slap him around.
» middaymoon on 2011-08-27 02:18:49
RYC: thanks bro for correcting my mistake. i have forgotten how to spell. HAHA.
» renaye on 2011-08-27 02:34:26
Gotta love the little things in life. :)
» Midnight on 2011-08-27 12:20:47
Yeah, space is awesome.
» invisible on 2011-08-27 04:02:28
The two will be my parents. My mother will be busy crying and my dad will be staring into space or asleep. So yea..... I'm not thinking too much into pictures. I took less than 10 pictures the last time it happened.
Lol! Will the hangout on G+ constitute as a party? Or will the party happen when we finally have a gathering of some sort?
» Nuttz on 2011-08-27 09:31:22
Okay, 99% of everything.
» randomjunk on 2011-08-29 07:15:53
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