It doesn't feel very nice when you don't know what the other is feeling. I don't like grudges or anything. I might get mad, but it's over when my 'tantrum' is over or ten/five/fifteen min. pass. It's over, why keep it up? It's a waste of energy. In my mind, friends are friends no matter what.

However, not all think that way. My friend wanted something, but I never officially bought anything because her mind changed from week to week and soon it was a month past her birthday. I didn't want to get her something she didn't want. Finally, she told me it was already a month so she didn't want it anymore. So she brushed it off and life went on. Thing is, the next time we 'talked' it was over AIM and she didn't respond at first, then said she was mad at somebody. Left it at that and she could have been mad at anyone. I had a little feeling inside that told me there was a possibility she was made at ME. Only I didn't know for sure. I called her today about this volunteering thing. Said she couldn't make it and when I asked her what she wanted for Christmas(a number of us are buying stuff early...), she told me I didn't have to get her anything. I asked anyway and she said she didn't want anything. Feels like a rift is appearing, a nice yawning gap beside me...It doesn't feel nice.

For me, I'm friends with everyone and enemies with no one. Heck, my worst enemies are my ex-bfs and I still think of them as my friends. Seriously, time has passed and please, grow up. We were kids the last time we met, I dout we wouldn't be friendly if we saw each other now. *eyeroll* Anyway, I don't keep anger around with me so when others do that...not a nice feeling. I don't like it. *shrug* Better if love was around then hatred, jealousy or grudges. Ugly things.

Oh, I might be that way becasue of my mother, at least partially. She does that, too. I never know when her temper will flare or she'll smile or joke around or anything. Mood swings and things. So it's scary...all this aprehension. I hate it. I'm so so tired of it.

Haha, that might be why I like things out in the open. You know, when you watch movies and tow people are so obviously attracted to each other or someone is obviously lying and the other doesn't call them out on it...just get it over with already! It's not anything bad could happen. You won't die. Be honest, fer crissakes. I know how I feel/am, but I don't know about you. Yeesh.

Heh, I found the word. Aprehension. This 'journaling' is doing wonders for my forgetful vocabulary.

theDot

Aw. You feeling sick too? Poor thing.

What's up with your layout? Is it supposed to be squished to one side?

Feel better!
» Praetorian on 2007-09-22 04:31:32

eesh, I can hold a grudge but I usually let it go. I really don't like people who hold grudges for years. one of my ex's is still angry at me for breaking his heart close to 5 years ago. its ridiculous. I hope your friend gets over it
» LostSoul13 on 2007-09-22 04:45:08

aww..
I guess she was hurt so deeply that she could not easily forget. I dont think it was a grudge but maybe she was just expecting some gesture of your friendship. I dont know how you can make it better other than just not forgetting next year. Some people can be picky but for those people you just get a gift card. Then when they get upset.. just tell them you wanted to get them something that you knew would make them happy. :) (hee hee.)
» KKama67 on 2007-09-22 07:43:12

I'm the same
In a sense. I can hold grudges, but I'm always civil to peoples' faces, unless they aren't returning the favor.

You're uncertain how the other person felt? I was in the same boat, for almost two years...and look how it turned out :) If I can pull it off, you most certainly can.

And the word is "blogging" :)

Peace out
» The-Muffin-Man on 2007-09-22 08:54:45

I feel the same why but I stay away from those who doesn't like me. I sort of am able to feel when someone doesn't like me and sometimes I dont know that person at all. Weird how the human mind works. I'll hold grudges but not for long. Being angry at someone all the time is tiring.

Just get her something that she mentioned before. We can't help it right when the receiver changes her mind all the time.
» Nuttz on 2007-09-23 02:12:43

err.. it's 'apprehension'. u missed one p.

well... my birthday has also passed. and i know friends would want to buy me presents since the whole of my birthday is also my friend's birthday. so i did a wishlist on the blog and tell my friends what i want. oh well i gave them choices. people think it's weird to have a wishlist but i don't like to waste my friend's time and money to buy something i don't need and dislike.

so a wishlist is much safer. haha. and i got what i wanted from the list!
» renaye on 2007-09-23 10:10:10

Personally, I probably dislike more people than I have friends, but that's just me. I tend to make crappy friends. :| My mom even said, when she was talking about one of my ex-friends... "Who needs enemies when you have friends like that?"
» randomjunk on 2007-09-23 01:37:03

Maybe you should demand the money that was saved for something. :P "Give me my birthday cash!"
» randomjunk on 2007-09-23 10:13:19

We pretty much are the same person.
I read this entry and thought to myself, this is what I'm like.

There's this girl who works in my office as the administrative assistant and she has soooo much friend-drama in her life. It makes my head hurt.
» ranor on 2007-09-24 12:13:44

I'm like that, too.
I'm a very forgiving, easy-going person, and don't thinks so personally like a lot of people do.

I would suggest getting her something anyways; something you know she'd like, even though you might not be 100% sure. I'm sure she'll see that you're putting forth an effort, and appreciate it.
...If not, then she's not really much of a friend, then, is she?

A message to people like that: How are we supposed to know what you want if you won't tell us?! I don't know what your subtle hints mean. Heck, I'm not sure I've even SENSED any, let alone deciphered them correctly. WHAT DO YOU WANT? Just tell me clear and simple like. How hard is that?
Seriously.
» invisible on 2007-09-24 11:08:49

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