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I'm doing it again XD
Friday. 2.3.17 1:31 am
I'm doing it again, coming here when I'm sad. Lol?
This last year (after my last post) I completely forgot about this site. Terrible but true. I'm so glad it's still around! I'm thankful & relieved dave still keeps the site alive. Grateful for all my friends here & the connections we have, however tenuous but real. Thank you all for keeping me sane!
I've been trying not to think about my dad for the last year. He comes up unbidden & gently pushed to the back of my mind. Probably every day. 360/365? I debated in my head if I should go on vacation the day he died. There was a convention I wanted to go to that started on that day & I would have to travel the day before. In the end, I knew he would want me to go on with my life, have fun & new experiences. He's not here anymore. He used to say the rituals we do are for the living & the dead is already dead. I've had many new & fun experiences the last year. I've been pretty happy. I think he would be happy about that.
Today I looked on the Lunar calendar & realized I missed his Chinese birthday. It was yesterday. I felt really bad. I had known it was coming but I've been trying to avoid thinking of him so much that I didn't check in time. Stupid but what can you do? So happy belated birthday, Daddy. I miss you & I love you.
I'm going to update more here. I know I say it all the time but I really want to. I don't want to forget this place again. I want you guys to know I keep you all & this place close to my heart too. It was, is, & forever will be the one place I know I am safe to be myself.
NuTang is INFINITELY better than Facebook.
I think I have to start posting there too. Prove that I still exist. Not just to the rest of the world, family & friends, but also to myself. Kinda like keeping myself in check. I withdraw & lose time too often. I let days pass & honestly, I feel like I wasted my twenties. I'm almost 27 now but I've made no progress from 24. I feel like I just started my twenties & I'm ashamed I lost all that time.
It's really nice to be honest. To be able to be open about this...actually the first time ever. I don't even tell my "best friends" cuz I feel like they'll judge me. But I know NuTang is here for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
No, I'm not gonna commit suicide!
Lol, I know I sound like THE END cuz I keep saying Thank you. I'm just emotional!!!
More lolz, I just realized this is how people feel about Imgur. Ahahahahaha! That's pretty cool.
It feels good talking to you guys again. See you all again soon!
--Dotty/Silver/whatever you call me
I'm really glad to see you again. It's certainly been awhile. What's happened in your life over the past year?
» randomjunk on 2017-02-03 09:33:09
I was quite thrilled to see you posting again (both here and on FB)! I was worried as to whether you are still alive but I suppose you just went into hiding.
WE NEED TO CATCH UP!!! Depending on how life pans out for me in the next couple of months, you might be able to come visit me in NZ ;) (keeping my fingers crossed)
» Nuttz on 2017-02-20 12:38:32
Hi!!!!! Welcome back!!!! We are always here for you :)
» Zanzibar on 2017-05-21 10:40:15
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