today has not been a good day. i can feel and see my good friend/coworker slipping farther away from me and i've been plagued with thoughts of wanting to like that useless lazy immature selfish arrogant bast*rd again. i want to go home. i have so much to do, my head feels so stuffy like its full of cotton. im a cotton swab, g*ddamnit. or my head is a dam and the work is rushing tidal waves and it's about to spill over. crash and burn, i tell you, crash and burn!

im hungry. and i wanna go home.



i feel so alone.
peace out.

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Joke of the day: one of the new volunteers came in for an interview and just left. One of the other volunteers realizes that new guy forgot to fill out a part of his application and the guy in charge of volunteers says,"You can still catch him! He should be downstairs by now." She runs out to the window and screams out his name. A second later she apologizes, "Sorry, wrong person." The entire office cracks up. High-larious.

Okay, something personal: I haven't liked any guy for three years or so. Now I'm crushing on a co-worker. Today...I was perfectly fine until two hours before the end of my day. At one point, I wonder if I'm getting lovesick, like actually feeling sick. Five seconds later, he walks in. I'm perfectly fine. WTF?! But yeah.

And then I start to wonder, I don't really like him, do I?

I'm sure the answer will be 'yes, you do' tomorrow. Or something. You know how it is. Emotions (especially those in this area) are never stable for very long.

Tell me when you get bored of these reports

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I went petitioning for the last time today. I just rang some guy's doorbell and then realized it was the two guys I tried to petition last time who would not listen to what I had to say because it was 9pm and I woke them up from their beauty sleep[<--snide remark].

So he was still kinda nice (like strangers type of nice, but negative bc he still wouldn't listen to me) up until I said, "Okay so you're holding a grudge. That's okay. Thank you~~~"(because he kept mentioning that I had woke them up pretty late the last time [uh, hello? New York City + 9pm = not late night])and turned to walk away, all with a smile on my face. Then he goes, "That was rude." And it went downhill from there.

He was basically going on and on and I DID apologize (for that suuuuch a late and rude awakening[<---snide remark]) and he goes, "That's better" and on and on, then closes the door to my sweet trying to be nice face.

Point is, I wasn't saying "you're holding a grudge" as some snide remark to be rude [note the arrows pointing to actual snide remarks in this entry]. I was trying to clarify for myself, because really, there was no reason for him not to listen to what I was saying. I am a sweet Asian girl from outside appearances, smiling all throughout the conversation, being very polite, I was trying to make amends, it's NOT late at night, I DID NOT just wake him from his beauty sleep (it's 6pm Sunday evening). What excuse not to be polite to someone being polite to you?

So he closes the door. I actually walk away. And then I think, "Wait a minute here. I don't care if they hate ME, but this isn't about me. This is about the city and who is going to be the next -------- of the City. And so-so can't suffer and lose support because of little ol' me."

I go back to the door. Different guy opens the door. So I try(keyword try) to explain what just happened and the guy goes from strangers-genial-politeness/patient-but-negative to straight "We don't care", "stop bothering us", screaming in my face, and at one point "I'm going to call the police!". SLAM. Door in my face.

What a little bitch.

Of course being the ninteen year old still-teenager with hormones raging and undoubtedly a girl, I'm crying in the staircase for the next twenty minutes. I don't stop there. I write a little note on the back of my business card, apologizing yet again, kindly reminding (without the word 'remind') them that this is about the city and not me. And that the Democratic Primary is Sept. fifteenth. And that I'm providing a little pamphlet (think palm card literature) as an FYI.

Then I go back to my apartment bc I know I can't keep petitioning in that state I'm in.

But what little bitches!


Ugh.

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feeling more and more isolated in this office. am i supposed to fight it and make a big scene and be a drama queen? no. i'll gracefully accept it. i officially accept the fact that you may want to be friends with everyone but whether or not they accept you or like you is out of your hands.

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@Alam: I want a DSLR. =( But all my $$ is for college.
@LostSoul: Nope. But we're in the same city!!! Yeah, it does make me want to get a real tattoo...
@random: It's not high. Mine's pretty deep actually. I think I answered in my camouflage-as-girl-teenager/office-receptionist voice. Sorry. =P
@Nuttz: Mine, too.
@thaitanic: Then I shall!

So gmail was not accessible all day. Until it gets written about on the Gmail Blog and oh, look! it works.

I was the official delegator of all the communications from outside into my job. Until this weekend when my inbox at gmail started looking increasingly lonely and empty. I verified today, I'm no longer the official delegator.

One less responsibility, but somehow I feel a little like my inbox. But hey, I'm embarking on the college journey instead of intensive work, work, work.

Plugs: Alam, LostSoul13, randomjunk, Nuttz, thaitanic

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Once tomorrow is over, my new temporary schedule will dissappear. What is to become of me then?

BTW: Random, do you really want to meet up with me? It's been weeks, girl.

Old: M & W = do homework during daytime, class at night, T & Th = class in morning, work rest of day until abt 9pm. Fri = all to myself which means catching up on sleep and homework. Sat. = free except for dance at night. Sun. = free / homework.

New: No idea. But my boss wants me to keep working.

Tomorrow is Election Day.

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