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Lonely only stays lonely for so long
Friday. 10.12.07 2:00 am
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Friend what does that even mean?
Friday. 6.29.07 9:00 am
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You used to talk to me like I was the only one around
Friday. 10.19.07 2:00 am
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Cry about the love we used to have Cry that I won't ever get you back
Tuesday. 1.8.08 8:00 am
mood: sad
listening to: Saving Jane - Happy

Happy
(Saving Jane)

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?
Lying in the grass alone and wasted
Nothing's how it used to be

I wanna be the first to call and tell you
Yesterday I heard the news
I hear you oughtta be congratulated
So I guess that's what I'll do

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby
I could cry

Listen to the sound of my head pounding
Wish that it was make-believe
Praying for the skies to open up and
Wash away your memory

I can walk around with a pretty face on
Even when I'm black and blue
What's the point in telling everybody
I'm not over you

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby
I could cry

Cry about the love we used to have
Cry that I won't ever get you back

Filling up my empty days with red wine
Wonder what you think of me?

I'm so happy for you
I could cry
Yeah I'm so elated
Cross my heart and hope to die
I'm so happy for you
So so happy for you
I don't think about you every night
Before I close my eyes
I'm so happy for you baby
I could cry

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Stop and stare I think I'm moving But I go nowhere
Friday. 2.8.08 8:00 am
mood: scared
listening to: OneRepublic - Stop And Stare

Stop And Stare
(OneRepublic)

This town is colder now
I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move
I'm shaking off the rust
I've got my heart set on
Anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself
Counting up the years
Steady hands just take the wheel
Never glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal
For the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving
But I go nowhere
Yeah I know that
Everyone gets scared
But I've become
What I can't be
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why
You're here not there
And you'd give anything
To get what's fair
But fair ain't
What you really need
Can you see what I see

They're trying to come back
All my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags
I never thought I could
Steady feet don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving
But I go nowhere
Yeah I know that
Everyone gets scared
But I've become
What I can't be
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why
You're here not there
And you'd give anything
To get what's fair
But fair ain't
What you really need
You don't need

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She says things are fallen into place Feels like they're fallen apart
Tuesday. 2.26.08 2:00 am
mood: worried
listening to: Billy Ray Cyrus - Ready, Set, Don't Go

My Dad had 3 Grand Mal Seizures and we had to take him to the ER I'm so worried He started feeling bad on Sunday he couldn't stand up his legs were too shakey to But he felt better that night, so we thought he was well, this morning he got sick the same thing his legs were shakey, and he couldn't stand up, and he kept falling the next thing me and mom knew dad started screaming his body started shaking! I thought he was dead...I was crying and mom said to go and get our friend Benny I hollared at him and he came over and brought another guy with him named Mike and they brought dad in the front room mom called 911 and the EMT's were there Dad didn't wanna go to the hospital, But the girl EMT made him go she was tough! Dad got there and they did all kinds of test Blood test, Cat Scan, EKG, and X-Rays, and they gave him an IV seizure meds in it he had 2 more seizures while he was in the hospital and he quit breathing he didn't even know the year, the day, or date or anything for about 30 minutes then he started coming around and talked to me I told him please don't die and I loved him and hoped to see him really, really soon Mom told me and Sissy to go home for awhile that there was nothing we could do so we did But I didn't want to I started feeling bad my stomach was so upset over being worried Sissy put me and Charlie a blanket, and pillow in front of her heater and I tried to take a nap But I couldn't I watched the weather channel and it said they we may get rain / snow tomorrow then me and Sissy went to get something to eat and took it back to the hospital I was even hungry I was too worried to eat then Mom came out Mom came out and told us they were transferring Dad to the Montgomery General Hospital in Blacksburg Virginia and that made me feel better! knowing that he's in good hands and he's in God's hands pray everything will be ok Me and Sissy waited in the hospital parking lot and Mom came and told us at 12:00 to go on back on home and she said they were gonna go on and transfer him to va when we got home our back door was open and it scared me...I thought someone had broke in But everything was fine I went and I took me a bath and I got online and I looked up seizures and I wanted to let you all know what has been going on! Tomorrow Mom and Diane are going to Blacksburg please pray they have a safetrip and that my Dad won't have anymore seizures and he'll get to come home! thanks.

Much Love,

Bee

This song is to Dad <3

Ready, Set, Don't Go
(Billy Ray Cyrus)

She's gotta do what she's gotta do
And I've gotta like it or not
She's got dreams too big for this town
And she needs to give 'em a shot
Whatever they are

Looks like she's all ready to leave
Nothing left to pack
There ain't no room for me in that car
Even if she asked me to tag along
God I gotta be strong

She's at the starting line
Of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waiting on my blessings
Before she hits that open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Don't go

She says things are fallen into place
Feels like they're fallen apart
I painted this big ol' smile on my face
To hide my broken heart
If only she knew
This is where I don't say
What I want so bad to say
This is where I want to
But I won't get in the way
Of her and her dreams
And spreading her wings

She's at the starting line
Of the rest of her life
As ready as she's ever been
Got the hunger and the stars in her eyes
The prize is hers to win
She's waiting on my blessings
Before she hits that open road
Baby get ready
Get set
Don't go
Don't go
Don't go

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Just hang tough And if it gets too rough Fall on your knees and pray And do that everyday
Friday. 2.29.08 2:00 am
mood: greatful
listening to: Dolly Parton - Better Get To Livin'

Diane couldn't take Mom to go get Dad Tuesday because she got really, really sick So, Mom called Benny and Barbra and asked them if they would take her they said yeah Mom called Dad he told her they weren't gonna release him until Wednesday Mom told Dad it was gonna rain / snow that we needed to go to the store before it did and he said for us to go on and go first we went to the post office to check the mail then we came home waited on Sissy it was starting to get really bad out! we went to Walmart I bought a Sally Hansen Comfort Shine Fresh Vanilla Lip Glaze, and I bought 2 CD's Dolly Parton's new CD, and Colbie Caillat's CD they're awesome Dad called us while we were in Walmart and he told us he was gonnabe on seizure meds 3 pills once a day I was happy about that I prayed he wouldn't have anymore and we went to Allen's and came back home because it started pouring the snow! I watched American Idol and got online and called Dad and was up all night scared that it would snow bad and Dad would get sick again But neither ever happenend thank God! Wednesday morning Mom called Dad and told him they would be after him about 3:30 Sissy came down and she stayed with me while they were gone to Blacksburg and we watched TRL Taylor Swift was on there I love her she ROCKS <3 then I went and I took a nap I was very tired from everything that's been going on by the time I woke back up it was 7:30 and Mom and Dad were back I was so glad! I hugged Dad and told him I was glad he was home and Charlie was happy too haha me and Dad watched American Idol Dad asked who Carly Smithson was on Idol she is an awesome singer! she's my favorite on there she sang Heart and she ROCKS <3 Thursday I didn't do anything, I watched American Idol the result show and I went up to Sissy's house, and me and Charlie watched Disney while she washed her hair came home and washed my hair and today Friday Dad is doing better he made his own soup and he ate really good it's a small start But hey at least it's a start right? it came another bad snow storm, and our TV went off for hours But came back on What a week it's been! even tho it started out bad it ended good I am SO blessed thanks again to everyone that said a prayer for my Dad and may God Bless you all! I just wanted to update and let you all know how Dad was I won't be updating for awhile after this, I will be busy looking after Dad But I will update whenever I can.

Much Love,

Bee

Better Get To Livin'
(Dolly Parton)

People always comin' up to me and askin'
"Dolly, what's your secret?
With all you do, your attitude
Just seems to be so good
How do you keep it?"
Well I'm not the Dalai Lama, but I'll try
To offer up a few words of advice

You better get to livin', givin'
Don't forget to throw in a little forgivin'
And lovin' on the way
You better get to knowin', showin'
A little bit more concerned about where you're goin'
Just a word unto the wise
You better get to livin'

A girlfriend came to my house
Started cryin' on my shoulder Sunday evening
She was spinnin' such a sad tale
I could not believe the yarn that she was weavin'
So negative the words she had to say
I said if I had a violin I'd play

I said you'd better get to livin', givin'
Be willing and forgivin'
Cause all healing has to start with you
You better stop whining, pining
Get your dreams in line
And then just shine, design, refine
Until they come true
And you better get to livin'

Your life's a wreck, your house is mess
And your wardrobe way outdated
All your plans just keep on falling through
Overweight and under paid, under appreciated
I'm no guru, but I'll tell you
This I know is true

You better get to livin', givin'
A little more thought about bein'
A little more willin' to make a better way
Don't sweat the small stuff
Keep your chin up
Just hang tough
And if it gets too rough
Fall on your knees and pray
And do that everyday
Then you'll get to livin'

The day we're born we start to die
Don't waste one minute of this life
Get to livin'
Share your dreams and share your laughter
Make some points for the great hereafter

Better start carin'
Better start sharin'
Better start tryin'
Better start smiling
And you better get to livin'

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When you're gone The pieces of my heart are missing you
Monday. 4.28.08 8:00 am
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