The poems I have been writing have been inspired by William Blake.
Songs of Innocence & Songs of Experience.

Little Girl by Shaneen

She wears bright pink and yellow every time she is out,
Running through the flower fields, pulling petals, but losing count

Flowing hither and thither like her mother�s cursive,
Rosy cheeks, civilized, and carefree, with no motive.

Angelic and impeccably untainted since her short existence,
She is oblivious; the real world is no more than a few hours in distance.

Years away from strength in struggle,
She will soon feel so much trouble.

She is pure, authentically overflowed with blissful glee,
I wonder if she will exist with the facts of reality.

Do you feel innocence in this?


Old Woman by Shaneen

She wears old patterns, long dresses, and comfy shoes
Attempting to pick a fight at bingo, win or lose

Slacking to and fro like a child�s penmanship
Truthfully qualified in the mind of hardship

Homely, yet imperfectly decomposed
Corrupt memories of being hardnosed

Conjointly hitting walls and getting scars
Delicately ample of fiber bars

She is mixed, weary hearted and left astray
I wonder if she can take another day

Do you feel the experience in this?


I tried to make the two poems coincide, opposing each other.
Can you guys recognize the difference? & tell me what you think, please! :]

Yeah, I can see where they kinda mesh and oppose.

The form you wrote them in, these strings of couplets (I don't know the right term), is a little... rough for me. Like riding on a bike and then braking constantly. I don't think there's anything wrong with the poetry though, it's just a personal opinion.
» randomjunk on 2009-05-28 09:51:44

Are they meant to mirror "The Lamb" and "The Tyger"?
» bluetopaz on 2009-05-29 04:00:45

Sorry, you do not have permission to comment.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.