Please before you read this understand I am not trying to offend anyone. If you are 18 or younger and you have a successful relationship and children and are happy more power to you! I love when people beat the odds that society places on them.




So today i noticed a girl i new in highschool is engaged... I was astounded by this for a few reasons. 1 she is only 17 at most (graduated early). 2 She has only been dating this boy for 6 months at most.

Tyler and I have been dating for eight months (on thursday :] ) and marriage is wayyyyy in the future. Now I know not everyone is like me. I know people find that specially someone and right away want to get married.....but whats the rush?

My gosh you are only a teenager why do you need to make that big of a choice when you have so many years ahead of you? now im not saying he isnt "the one" but if he is why the rush? why not live together and learn more about each other and spend a good portion of time together before you get married?

Im also not saying couples dont need to talk about their future. To me its nice to hear Tyler say he thinks we are going to have a long future together. It makes me excited to spend some great years with him. But marriage should be such a beautiful and meaningful thing why not think it all the way through?

You dont need a ring on your finger to make a lasting commitment.

I think you stand between the viewpoint you're discussing, and my own.
» middaymoon on 2010-10-12 07:46:41

I feel like the engagement ring during the freshman year of college is like the Relationship during the freshman year of high school. I don't think many people are HONESTLY as ready as they need to be. :-

BUT, they work it out somehow, be it divorce or adaptation.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-10-12 08:33:56

^^^
Divorce isn't working it out! >.
» middaymoon on 2010-10-12 09:26:51

My comment was absorbed by the page source, let me dig it up...
"...> . >

Anyway, I was balking at where you mentioned living together in preparation for marriage. I don't think that's quite right. But I agree with everything else you said."

Or something like that.
» middaymoon on 2010-10-12 09:29:17

Just one of those things I always learned was a no-no
Personally, I think learning to live together after marriage is half the fun. Any two people are "able" to get along, you know. It's just a matter of how much you're willing to give. You shouldn't marry someone unless you're willing to give everything, so I think learning to live together beforehand is sort of redundant.
» middaymoon on 2010-10-12 10:32:42

I think the pressue of society is a reason for this. Some people feel like if they're not married before they're 21 they'll be alone forever. If someone told me when I was 17 I was going to marry my best friend when we were 20 I would thought they were insane!! Something are ment to be, and some things are a way too try and fit into this society.
» Midnight on 2010-10-13 10:05:39

Some things*
» Midnight on 2010-10-13 10:06:15

It's sad...and apparently preventable. I read this book The Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work. It basically says that any marriage *can* work, as long as the two people follow some super SIMPLE guidelines. But then it says that, once it's past a point, it's hard to go back.

Which is why I see a divorce as a way of working it out. The LAST resort.

:D
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-10-13 10:48:45

Marriage and when you think people should get married are topics that are very subjective. Personally, I don't in the 21st century people should get married in their teens cause people are not as emotionally matured as compared to 50 years ago but if you want to get married now, go ahead, as long as you guys know how to plan your life and not end up dragging innocent bystanders and your poor children down with you.
» Nuttz on 2010-10-14 05:02:12

it takes big time patience and maturity.. but i think you of all people really know how to value marriage & commitment! i think with some people, it's not really a rush but they're just so excited & ready to start a life together, like @ and her fiancee, know what i mean? I wouldn't base it off age as being too young, but a person's maturity level.. some of these girls we know aren't mature enough to have a basic relationship, let alone a marriage & all these babies poppin out!!
» acidbathx on 2010-10-14 12:54:17

Yeah, I agree. Emotional maturity is a huge factor in it. Some people just aren't willing to subjectively look at themselves and change bad behaviors.
» Unicornasaurus on 2010-10-15 12:00:06

Re:
Some people... just don't think things through
» Nuttz on 2010-10-15 08:40:00

I agree with Nuttz. Do what you want, just don't have a lavish wedding and immediately have a bunch of kids. It's sad for you if your marriage doesn't last; it's devastating for your kids.
» Zanzibar on 2010-11-17 01:27:54

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