Recentis's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

I learned today.

Alot.

So, the talking to jess helped, the talking to my mum, finalized it.

Good for me.

First and for most, don't ever put anyone in front of your self. Always look out for numero uno. Your self. This world is too real to live it idealistically. as the mum would say "it's not all smooth sailing from here." well, i catch now. too well, but at least i catch. right?

Its a lesson that i've learned over and over again. I've gotten better but still have my weaknesses. I was way worse in the past and at least now, well, it's minor. Not much damage to the boat. I'll do fine. But it was in a sense a wake up call. Look out for your self, there arn't going to be people out there for you.

Next, well, there are blood lines you don't cross. dirty man. dirty and worthless. as the mum says, "your better then that, don't demote your self." as i agreed "hell, i have way more morals mum, i am better." Some bloodlines you dont touch. They leave a stench that won't wash out. I'll keep my space. I'll keep my intelligence. I've got alot more then meets the eye. So, FUCK off.

I left some words out. Thats ok.

Keep a smile man, keep it nice, there are games to be played, oh so many games, but I'm not going to. I believe there are principles that need to upheld. There are levels i dont cowtow to, and there are places i refuse to allow my self to go. So, games yes, played yes, me no. I've made a decision. I'm not going to allow that to affect me. So what dude, as Jess said, "you didn't lose" i Didnt. Shes so right. I've got my self. And all together, i know i am better. Thats basically it. I have to be. There are moves even i refuse to make. To low, and too dirty. So what man, tis life isn't it? I've got standards dude. I could, but i won't. Thats truly what i should do.

So i will.

I really do feel better, i bounce back man. The energy i like flows, straight through, above and all around me. ITs a ball in which festers the worlds existance of levity and rejuvination. Life is my name and the world my play ground. Let the rain pour, i'll dance with my umbrella and nifty shoes for the movies and shows. Don't worry bout me, i'm a good kid with a nice heart.

I'll be good.

Always am.