Ok, so is this guilt in my heart? Is this odd quiver that seems to be screwing up my sinus rhythm actually a real emotion? Fuck, I believe so. I can't believe I am this off. Oh no. Wait, yeah, Priscilla does have morals. what an odd consequence. Its a child frolicking about walking as she pleases, laughing as it comes, and dancing where she wishes, but then the claw grasps her tight, scolding her happiness, her innocent ignorance. her carelessness. the Stoic stance of crossed arms, frowns, and of course shakes of the head. Yeah, morals can be a bitch.

So, I know I’m getting my self in trouble. I know I shouldn't be in this. I know there are consequences for what one does. I know that though my intentions were good, what I did was not. fuck, do you think all of the "fucks" in the world will erase this from history’s existence and plant me in a world where there isn't this heavy weight in my heart, and a guilty look on my face? I suppose not. but I sure as hell can try. FUCK!

"you can have my absence of faith, you can have my everything..."

What is everything of I? Merely a shell, or is it a complete world? Do you really want all of what I am? Or would you rather have me stare docilely and look at you with a pretty smile, and let you hear "what you want to?" Will you take the easy way out and choose beauty over brains? Will you see that you can’t live life always winning. will you realize that to truly win you must lose? I suppose not. I also suppose this is me blaming you for something that you couldn't help. I can’t expect everyone to be of the same standard as what I hold. I suppose that’s idiotic because, well, there are people yes, and not all of them will be able to match the world in which you have painted Priscilla. What a pity. No, I am trying to relieve this stench of guilt, and blaming the source seems to be the easiest method.

It’s true, it’s false, it’s all.

Ok, so you were wrong in your choice, but I was wrong in my lie. So we're in this boat together. though you may not know. *Sigh* I hate having to put on a mask, its lovely though, glittering in the light, joyful, colorful, and most of all nothing like me. I told you a lie today. To your face, you believed me. And in my heart, I felt it. Why must I have this thing that some nifty people, I think they're called psychologists, call a conscience. This really shouldn't affect me so. The lead heart needs to return to this pitiful creature who of course has scruples instead of cold laughter. Damn it.

"so you’re going to lose two friends?"

No I am not. I'm trying damn hard, with all of Samson’s strength, but your cutting my hair hun. What am I suppose to do? Even so, I’ll some how find the strength to topple the towers of the evil I have built. This is wrong. This isn't suppose to happen. I've stayed away for so long and now, I’ve allowed it to creep back in, hiding behind childish innocence, the monster wrapped me in its cloak, enveloping what bit of me is left, lavishing in the old feel of my caresses, yes, it loves me. Its child grown now, but its child nonetheless. Ah, the monster has returned. Returned, and I’m running. Clawing at its grasp hoping, somehow, by some miraculous ways I will stand against it, strong, and tall. refusing its indulgences.

I just might be able to accomplish it. Rename me David and it goliath. I have to win.

Lets see.

The dramas back. ah, an old friend, my evil nemesis.

What a foe.

Name.

URL.

[to enter your email, use "mailto:[email protected]"]
Subject.

Comment.

Word verification.

Copy the first 4 characters only.

If you are a member, try logging in again or accessing this page here.