Recentis's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

its been so long. interesting...

i wrote last night. not on a computer but on paper. real paper and ink. wow. i seriously havn't done that in so long. it's quite, i dont know, an exprience. i missed it much more than i thought i would. hrm... i really should write more often. i really should... i wrote a blurb while half asleep the other day, need to finish this poem....

i can hear the winds changing outside
its dark within the dead of nigh
happy mournful thoughts race about
a lovely face full of doubt
its a thought to think,
a horrid will to fullfill

but that's all for that one. not very good haha, no really bad but i was sleepy, it was what, 3 in the morning, woke up and couldnt sleep so wrote that. yeah, i'll write better later.

but heres the writing from last night on real paper!

it's a lovely thing to think yet, horrid to fo. i think i have to change, dont really much mind about articulating my self more. it would actually be somewhat welcome so might as well set my self out to do it. time has been running rampis, fast with the rapids, rushing about here and there never pausing to let me in on the secrets of time and day, eroding life, shaping situations, and watching them play. it knows me for since the begining has it been my companion. seeing all the colors, the scenerary, the beauty, as i ran past for the false idol or broken promise. it knows how i think what i process and what i feel. what an interesting thing you know... people will be here and there always as they have been, open the door, close the door, i'm still here. awaiting, sitting, being, but maybe most of all contemplating. it's been solong since we've sat and danced. since we've gotten up and sun, since we've even had much to write. hrm. we should do this a bit more often. blank pages meant to full with life blank pages meant to see what blood was made fore, to drip from a knife. lets reasituate, lets contemplate. why we've done this why we exist, is this an age? is this a phase? is this why we are who we are? tisn't a time to ask, tis a time to wonder silent answers screaming questions of dour. i've forgotten already, but i never really know, no i suppose. let it flow, they say it's good for you, some times it may even be beautiful. let the ink stain, let the words flow, and let the mind think, lets abstain. abstinance can be beauty when the time comes to see what never been seen, it'll be lovely...

ok there are a massive amount of typos in there but i refuse to go fix them right now. i'm a lazy bum.

listening to morrissey, love this guy. seriously, love em. i need to get away from texas.

oh yes, i've forgotten to mention a little plan of mine. actually an action. i had a conversation with my dad and he mentioned the fact that i talk like a drug addict. ok, yes i admit i do. i mumble my words and have them slur to inchorency, half because i dont really want people to hear me and half because it's easier than having to articulate my self. but just the sheer fact that he would say it so blatently to my face, You talk like a damn drug addict. hrm. i took a look at my self and i dont really want to come off as a drug addict. i've passed that stage. and it made me think about this teacher who had pulled me aside one day and told me, "you are not stupid, why is it that you have ceased to talk intelligently? i know you have a brain in there turn it on and stop talking like your so dumb" and at the time i decided that her advice wasn't worth listening to and i went on talking as i will, how incoherent as it may be. but now i see it and i've decided to heed the advice and make the change. i kind of enjoy articulating my self again. just being able to use words that i havn't used in a while, like, problematic, assement. shit like that. i'm looking forward to this trip where i can exercise my new found skills. haha.

we leave on friday. its monday, i'm stoked.

it's a good day.

good times. good life.

eh.