Recentis's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

its so early in the morning and i feel so good. so surreall. its awesome. i love it. it feels like the morning after and all you have are good memories and the left over feelings of happiness and even contentness. its wonderful.

the music is perfect. it flows with my mind.

take a deep breath, savor what you have, its fleeting.

hrm....

there are alot of things going through my head. alot about people. commentary i have about them and feelings i havnt controled yet.

D's a good kid. good kid. love the boy. he has fucked up relationships but other than that, i love em. i've managed to keep my self away from the whole "i like/love d crap" and its nice to be his friend and see his relationships and laugh. its cool. i love keeping a distance while still being there with him. its cool. strictly friends is the best thing that happened to the two of us. i love the kid. he's awesome. good times.

jess has some problems right now but i think its all fixable. its stuff thats going to happen, that can be prevented, that has too happen, that will happen. (i'm referring to diff things if you cant tell) but, shes going to be ok. at least i think. and that cool. i'm fucking amazed at how much she has grown. i love it. shes angry now. that emotion has finally manifested its self and its beautiful. i think it's by far awesome.i love it when she's angry. and no one should blame her. its awesome. let the girl live life. but, this is good. growth is good.

i was thinking about this one kid and how i always seem to leave him hanging. and i was thinking. i really dont care about the kid the way i once did. i mean, hes a good kid, hes ok, b ut there's too much emots there for me to deal with and when i want to chill with jess, thats a jess and i only thing. and all my free time goes to her so there really isnt any room for him. i guess its bad that i do that but oh well. thats life. and thats the way i am going to be. if i dont care about you, i will be like that. and i realize that i screw my self over cause i see the social obligations and make plans. then i allow my self to cut it off and blow him off. cause i really dont care. but thats life. oh well. i need to learn to stop that. i need to learn to ignore social obligations. lol

then i was thinking about this other kid. i really did like this kid. alot. really did. and notice how it says "did" the past tense is a lovely thing to be using. i mean, and attraction to a cool, funny, good looking kid is always going to be there but not the liking him as much. no. i think i'm done with that. someone got whiney shity on me and i realized thats fucking stupid. and i dont feel like socializing. last night i did. but this morning i contemplated what i was doing and i decided not to. my new plan this summer is to stay away from people as much as possible. i mean there will be rockets. there will be jess. and thats it. no, i have to chill with david. ok thats it. lol. i dont think i'm going to be playing magic or D&D. that would be cool but now that i really think about it there really arnt that many people that i would care to play with. actually. i cant think of anyone to play with. those people are cool i have no doubt but, i'm not going to chill with them. no. i want to seperate my self from them and one kid in particular. i liked him too much and now i'm stopping it after telling my self for much too long. jess you know. i might chilll with tom though. haha. cause he's out of town until the 22 of july. hah. no, that one is cool.

ok whiney little shits annoy me. lol. thats why i dont like my sister. thats why i dont like that one kid. and thats why i dont like that other kid anymore. when you whine. its too much for me. i like fucking hardasses. jess is a hardass. she doesnt whine like that

man. thoughts. lol

i'm in a really good mood. that think about it if i were in a bad one.lol.