RanDumbNess's Weblog Site • NuTang.com

I should have fuckin' known. He hasn't ever liked me. He never will.

You know, I had a dream last night. It was the best friggin dream I will ever have. Ever in my life.

-->I was @ some play ground or something, and I was sitting there, thinking, God, I wanna see Taylor. And then, I here over speakerphone, "Hannah, please come to the elevator." And so I go, and who do I see riding up the elevator? Yea, Taylor. But, but he says, "I don't know you." And goes back down. And then so I call out to him, "Wait, Taylor, wait! It's me! Hannah!" And he comes back up. And he asks me out. And it's one of those good relationships, where we talk, and we hang out, and we have fun. Like, best friends, but better. But then, then he goes back to Oklahoma. And I was sitting on AIM, talking to him, and thinking, Oh, God, what if it didn't happen? What if it was all in my head? What if it was just a dream? And I started to cry. And I said, "Taylor, did it really happen? Were you really here?" And he said, "Yes." And then the dream was over.<--

It was one of those dreams you won't remember, unless you start to think about something or another that was in that dream. And I started thinking about something, and it popped into my head. And I started to cry. When I got to the end I was crying, quietly, but hard, mostly inside.

See, that was the difference between Will and Taylor. I knew that I had a tiny tiny strand of hope w/Taylor. I mean, Lord, he'd told people that he'd liked me. So I knew, until he moved to Oklahoma, I had a chance. I knew that, even though it was a tiny chance and probably wouldn't happen, he had liked me, and it might. But with Will, I didn't have any chance or hope w/him, I merely had a wish, or a dream, or a really good friendship. Nothing more than that. And I blew it, what ever I had, when I told him I liked him last night.

Know how I knew that? When I signed onto AIM today, and then when he signed on, he didn't say anything about that. And when he left, he didn't even do what we always do. Always.

It's always like this:
One of us: well gotta go lysfm ((luv ya so freekin much but we dont put this just so you know wat it is))
The other of us: lym ((luv ya more))
The first: w/e i lytm ((luv ya the most))
The other one: u wish i lym than anyone

You know what he said today?

CaptanCrunch2010: lylas

lylas. Luv ya like a sis. A fuckin sister. Nothin more than that. And I'm not stupid. I can take a friggin hint. God. I shouldn't have told him. But he was so mad when I didn't. Soooo mad.

See, he went to the movies w/Olivia and Ronnie, and Ronnie spent the night @ his house. And then they were online and they were talking and stuff and Ronnie told me that Will and Olivia made out in the movies. And then i could tell I was starting to cry. And so I said, "I gotta go guys bye" cuz I was in a chatroom w/them, and I put up an away message that said call me and I ran into my room and started to cry. And then he called. And he told me it wasn't true. And still, I was trying hard not to cry.

So then, I told him to tell me who he liked, and if he would tell me first then I would tell him. So finaly he said, "Olivia." Well, of course that pissed me off. "Now tell me, Hannah."

"Psh, no," I said. He said it wasn't fair. "To bad, life's not fair."

And I was all pissy to him and stuff and then I got all sad cuz he was mad @ me and stuff and well then he said it wasn't really Olivia he was lieing. I knew it.

He did it again w/Logan. I knew it wasn't her eather. @ least, I wanted to know it wasn't her. He said he was lieing again. So, I got on AIM, and my dad was screaming @ me to get off and go to bed, and, sense I wasn't on the phone anymore, I just said, 'u' and I signed off.

And then what happened this morning happened.

luvs
hannah