Saturday. 4.7.12 11:06 am
This week is like a week of revelations and turmoil. I don't think any that I contact on a daily basis realise it and I'm not exactly good at showing how I really feel when half of me doesn't think that it's such a big deal while the other half is angry and wants to pick a fight.
The week started off with me vs best friend. Why? Because of how I reacted to something she said and I find that she is more similar to the self-righteous bastard that is the root cause to me vs best friend. As if it is not enough, I kind of have an ongoing me vs me.
I don't know if I am subconsciously blocking whatever emotions that I'm supposed to feel because I wasn't surprised at whatever that was happening and yet I am angry and feeling a little betrayed. I suddenly have that feeling of dropping of the grid and disappear for a while.
Ever had that feeling like you're once again stuck in some repetitive shitty situation that no matter how hard you try you seem to not be able to stop it from starting all over again? I'm feeling exactly that too.
Too many feelings that I have no idea how to deal with and I don't know who exactly to tell because I don't want to risk another me vs best friend with someone else I'm close with and simply because nothing can be done to change this.
I've been told many times that I'm wise beyond my age but what does that mean when the one thing I want is the one thing I don't get?
U may wise beyond ur age. If u get over this u will be wiser.
Time for soul searching again.
on 2012-04-08 01:48:40
I can't seem to think of any instance of being in a repetitive bad situation but I am sure I have been in many before - just that age is catching up with me and I have forgotten many things about myself and my feelings when I was younger. I think this bad memory thing can be taken as an example of bad things happening to me now though I don't see it that way.
For me, if I can't get the thing that I want, I would ask myself, do I really want it. Perhaps this can be seen as a case of sour grapes.
RYC: Thanks for the nice welcome! » mun
on 2012-04-11 09:14:46 RE:
Hehe, I know, I change my layout way too often though LOL.
Yay for exercising, I can never find a motivation to do so :( » peanutmelon
on 2012-04-16 04:41:35
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