Who do you trust when theres no where to turn?
When do you know when to speak the truth when the lies continue to flow?
How many people do I have to lose while I sit here in silence.
God, I don't know where your going with this..
I really don't.
I just ask for one thing.
If they find out the truth.
If by some miracle they believe me..
I'd love to see the look on their faces.
To realize the truth after the way they've treated me.
If only there was a way.
How long does this have to go on?
How many more times do I have to go through this.
Please, don't flatter yourself, it's not just you..
It's everyone.
Maybe there is something wrong with me.
Maybe I'm missing something.
Or maybe I just care to much.
People can walk all over me rather easily.
Now the question remains..
How long can I go on with that feeling.
The pain surges throught my arm and up my neck.
Like an outstreched hand it tears at my face.
It's quite comical.
The guilt I feel from her.
The point of distress that's numbing.
I can read her too well.
So where does it end..
When I have nothing left?
When I've let people tear me apart till theres nothing left?
"Just don't talk and it will all blow over."
Mommy dearest seems to give terrible advice.
The reason I'm not standing up for myself is the very reason I have nothing.
Speak no truths.. and they can't be twisted into lies.
If I leave highschool with one thing..
It's trust noone.

What? It looks like you have a valid reason for becoming a christian, so how is that stupid that you wanna become one?

Its not like you just want to become a christian just to .. i dunno.. go to a prettier chruch or sumthing....

I think trying to grow and expand in your knowlege and change who you are for the better is one of the most intelligent things you can try and do. And if you believe that you can do that as a christian, then by all means you should be allowed to be a christian, without any bullcrap from anyone else. Its not like you are trying to force someone else to be a christian as well. The people around you should be able to respect who you are.

I hope that you truly discover what you are looking for as a christian, and that you do get the oppourtinty to better yourself as a person. I just ask, if you may, that you make sure to keep an open mind in your quest of being a christian. I heard a friend of mines say a couple of weeks ago basically that. " A true follower of a religion is one who is able to see the stregnth and flaws in your religion, and the stregnth and flaws and other religion, and then decide to stick with your current religon"

In any case, keep going on what path you think is best for you, and just ingore those idiots who think ur stupid. For trying to better yourself as a person and trying to become the best person you can be, you defintely have my respect :-)

» CPKviperpheonix on 2008-03-18 04:49:13

wow. very touching.
» AdreyMcMazing on 2008-03-19 03:58:51

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